


like a moth to a flame

by extenuatingcircumlocution



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: AU, Butterflies, Cannibalism, F/M, Familiars, Implied Sexual Content, Love/Hate, M/M, Moths, Ridiculous misunderstandings, Shapeshifting, Supernatural Elements, Vampire!Oswald, Witch!Ed, a whole bunch of made up lore in addition to actual real lore, confessions of affectionate hatred, gratuitous amounts of blood, incredible levels of pettiness, its not a kink thing its just that witches are cannibals :/, no cobblepots were eaten during the making of this fic, sry i keep naming insect species like this... i just want u all to know what they look like, this is first and foremost a comedy jsyk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2020-06-27 09:24:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 35,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19787986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/extenuatingcircumlocution/pseuds/extenuatingcircumlocution
Summary: Someone has disrupted Ed's laundry schedule. He cannot allow this to slide.





	1. rebra

**Author's Note:**

> here's a dumb fic.
> 
> as a serb, i'm OBSESSED with slavic folklore, specifically vampires and witches. i've been planning on doing this fic for a while, as kind of a tribute to my culture and also because it's just a funny concept to me.
> 
> my sister zoe came up with the title and also helped with some decisions regarding lore
> 
> idk how long this thing will get. i don't plans things ahead of time. i'm wingin' this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> serbian translations:
> 
> rebra (rehb-rah): ribs
> 
> Bештица (veštica, or veh-shtee-tsah) : witch
> 
> Вампир (vampir, or vahm-peer): vampire
> 
> i did a LOT of research for this fic, especially when it comes to witch rituals/spells/etc. i did, however, make some adjustments to fit the plot (as you might see)
> 
> also this might be confusing, but serbian uses both latinic and cyrillic alphabets, so i utilized both. i'm lazy, as you can see.

_To the person who uses BOTH the washers at 2 in the morning,_

_I work until very late at night. When I come home, I like to do my laundry for the next day. For some reason, you have been doing your laundry at the same time as I usually do. Not only this, but you use both the washers and you take forever to switch the laundry out._

_If you could please do your laundry some other time, I would be very grateful._

_\--Tenant at number 19_

* * *

_Tenant at number 19,_

_Fuck you._

_\--The person who uses the washers late at night and will continue to do so_

* * *

_Greedy person,_

_You are being incredibly rude. I made a simple request. Can you please try to do your laundry earlier in the day? No need for hostility._

_\--Number 19_

* * *

_Number 19,_

_I have a kid. Doing things earlier is difficult for me. Maybe you should do YOUR laundry earlier._

_Again: fuck you._

_\--Greedy person_

* * *

_RUDE PERSON,_

_What does a kid have to do with anything? I already said I can’t do it earlier because of my work! I’m being perfectly reasonable! If you continue to be rude with me, I’ll take this issue to the manager._

_\--Reasonable tenant in 19_

* * *

_Douchebag in number 19,_

_I also work._

_I do my laundry when I can._

_I don’t care if you can’t do yours._

_Buy your own washers._

_What the fuck is the manager gonna do about it?_

_\--Rude person_

* * *

_Mystery aggressor,_

_No need for such hostile name calling!_

_I don’t have the money or room in my apartment for a washer and a dryer._

_I won’t involve the manager until I’ve exhausted the possibility of us solving this on our own. Can you at least tell me your apartment number so that we can discuss this like rational adults?_

_\--Tenant at 19_

* * *

_Dumbass,_

_No, I won’t tell you._

_Fuck you._

_\--Someone better and richer than you_

* * *

**_Bештица_ **

Ed glared at the note left on the door to the laundry room. He had come down several times to see if his message had been replied to, to no avail. It was almost better to not get a response.

It was 2:30 A.M. and Ed came home a bit ago from work. He couldn’t do his laundry because the limited facilities were in use.

Ed had lived at this apartment for five years and he’d never had an issue with someone else using the laundry at the same time as he did.

He ripped the note off the door and crumpled it up before throwing it into a nearby trashcan. 

He scribbled down his own note and didn’t even leave a header or a sign-off. The dick would know.

_I’m involving the manager!!!!_

* * *

The response of _Fuck yourself!_ was unsatisfying. 

Naturally, the manager, a stern woman named Kathryn, was not his biggest fan. Ed had used the concept as a threat, but he knew if he ever went to her about this, she would slam her door in his face.

He had tried to do this in a civil manner. He had no choice but to resort to other means.

Those means were a bit insidious in nature, because they involved finding out who the person was without anybody seeing him. That wasn’t exactly a challenge.

It was almost a little unfair, because this person was no doubt just a rude human who liked to stay up late. It wasn’t their fault Ed was a petty witch.

Ed could spy like a normal person and risk getting caught, or he could do it the old-fashioned way and remain undetectable.

Not that it mattered. He’d already given his apartment number away in his notes.

Still, some anonymity would help with getting appropriate revenge.

* * *

He had some options: astral projection, clairvoyance, or falling asleep.

He was tired anyway and with a small dose of melatonin, he would be out in no time.

He made sure his apartment door was deadbolted and then he collapsed to sleep.

Witches didn’t dream. 

Instead, their consciousness vacated their body in the form of a butterfly--in Ed’s case, a _Callophrys rubi_ \--which was then able to do its own business. It was a semi-corporeal version of his soul, in a way. He just had to make sure nobody found his body when he was asleep, thus the utmost importance of the deadbolt. Otherwise, he might not be able to return.

A _Callophrys rubi_ has a wingspan of about an inch, allowing Ed to flutter through the ventilation system of the apartment building.

In no time at all, he was in the laundry room, adjacent to the sublevel garage. His wings were bright green and because the last thing he wanted to do is bring attention to himself, he stayed still on one of the side tables in the laundry room, next to a gallon of detergent.

All he had to do now was wait for the guilty party to enter the laundry room and switch their laundry. 

Butterflies are not interesting creatures. They can do very little and Ed found himself growing very bored as the hour passed. He counted the tiles in the ceiling and the cracks in the cement floor and when he’d accomplished that, he kept track of the frequency of the flickering light bulb.

He’d only just run out of mundane things to measure when the rusty door swung open and the guilty party walked into the room.

Butterflies can see colors on the ultraviolet spectrum.

This man was shimmering in the most intense kind of purple Ed had ever seen.

So this was the guy who was using his washers?

Ed angrily watched the man’s every move as he removed the wet clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer. He was humming a song Ed didn’t recognize. Every once in a while, the man would extract some clothing that were far too small to be worn by an adult. At least he hadn’t been lying about having a child.

Ed waited until the man had turned on the dryers and left through the heavy door. Ed flew quickly behind him before the door could shut. It was a close call but Ed was small enough to manage. He didn’t know what he’d do if his wings got crushed in a doorhenge. 

The man had a pronounced limp, Ed noticed as he followed him to the elevator. He looked sour and that fit the picture Ed had imagined in his head every time he read one of those rude notes. What he hadn’t imagined was that the jerk would be so handsome.

It was no matter, of course. 

The man stepped into the elevator and Ed darted quickly to the bottom corner. Most people didn’t look at the ground, he noticed. If he did get spotted though, he could potentially be in for a very quick and pathetic death.

He did not want to get squashed by a studded black oxford shoe.

The elevator moved upwards and the man continued to hum, his fingers thrumming casually against the wall. Ed tried to pick up on the melody but it was difficult to place or replicate a hum.

The door slid open and the man continued to walk down the dark, poorly lit hall--the third floor, Ed realized--until he reached apartment 27.

Ed had very little time to act when the man entered his home and shut the door. He flew into a corner and waited for anything to happen.

“Martin?” the man called, and Ed could only speculate on who that might be for a moment before a young boy of about ten years was running into the hall to meet his father. He was signing something too fast for Ed to comprehend but the man seemed to understand and together they entered the living room.

Ed stayed for another half hour in their apartment, fluttering discreetly from room to room, observing a few oddities--the man seemed obsessed with gothic decor--but nothing dangerous. It was strange that the man had Martin up so late at night, but Ed wasn’t entirely sure how parenting worked, so he shrugged it off.

The man and his son watched TV the whole time, some reality show Ed had never heard of. 

It was all so boring.

All so easy.

Satisfied, Ed used the vents once more to get to his own apartment on the second floor.

He reentered his physical body and gasped a breath as he awoke.

* * *

Ed had been a witch for about seventy five years.

Most witches were born with their magic. The most powerful ones were the witches that came from a long line of magic. 

Ed was born a normal nobody. 

He turned to magic out of desperation, when every other mode of escape from a violent home had proven useless.

The first twenty times had been fruitless, with Ed feeling like a fool.

Pentagrams scrawled on his floor in his blood, candles surrounding him, a bowl of leaves and ash. None of it worked.

No amount of swearing allegiance to the devil or commanding for dark forces to assist him made any difference.

He would just sit after the “ceremonies”, face growing red with shame as the silence mocked his attempts.

One day, at his local library, in the darkest aisle, he found a book called Aзбука Bештица, or _The Witches’ Alphabet_. It was a yellowed book translated into English long ago.

Pentagrams and devil-worship didn’t save him, but tying knots in black thread did.

Ever since, Ed had studied the _Alphabet_ obsessively, learning how to astral project, cast spells, mix longevity potions, even force his soul out of his body in the form of a butterfly while unconscious.

He had made a lot of progress in those first five years. He was far from the most powerful witch alive--even today Ed was not even close--but he was still impressed with his ability to self-teach himself magic.

But eventually, he found himself feeling weak, sometimes even sick.

He’d faint from fatigue often and sometimes vomited blood.

When he consulted the _Alphabet_ on his concerns, he realized that there was one very important component to witchcraft that he had overlooked.

He hadn’t ever eaten a human heart.

The first time had been terrible and sloppy but the sensation of finally ending that sickness, of tasting the blood and the pulse, it was worth the mess.

In his long career of witchcraft, Ed had perfected the art of his cannibalism.

It was almost second nature at this point to cut out a living person’s heart to eat.

Even a child’s.

* * *

The harvest season was approaching. This was a universally important time for witches, as many spells needed to be cast in those months in order to work properly.

His friend Ecco was waiting on October in order to cast a spell to protect her entire block. A simple charm could do, but she wanted the range to cover her very nice and friendly human neighbors, so a powerful spell was required.

As for Ed, the most important spell of the season was the longevity spell. 

As an almost one-hundred year old entity, he did not want to look his age. He also didn’t want to die of age-related health problems. The longevity spell was the only way to ensure he would stay among the living. 

It was a long and tedious process and the season was just one of many specific details a witch had to abide by in order to get it exactly right.

One of the ingredients for the potion part of the spell was the heart of a human boy.

Ed figured he might be able to kill two birds with one stone.

* * *

**_Вампир_ **

Oswald couldn’t help but think of the whole thing as a bit humorous.

One of his neighbors was furious with his laundry habits. Personally, Oswald couldn’t care less. If the asshole had a problem, he’d just have to deal with it.

Oswald had lied about his motives, though it hardly mattered what his reasons were.

He didn’t exactly have a job. He _did_ have a son, but that didn’t affect his schedule very much.

The only factor of any importance to why Oswald did his laundry at two in the morning was that he was a vampire.

If he did the laundry during the day, he’d be exhausted and might even get sick. 

Vampires weren’t supposed to be up with the sun. It was unhealthy.

Oswald’s health was more important than some dickwad’s laundry schedule. Not that he’d concede in any other circumstances.

One day, after Oswald encountered a strange note on the laundry room door, one much stranger than usual.

 _Watch yourself_.

It wasn’t signed but Oswald knew who it was. He crumpled up the paper and threw it in the recycling bin. The guy was resorting to death threats now? What an idiot.

Even if the person _did_ attack him, it would take Oswald no time at all to overpower them and drain them of all the life in their body.

He responded by saying _Or what?_ and then went on with his life until he almost forgot about the laundry squabble.

* * *

He was trying to help Martin with his homework--and failing--when there was a knock on the door.

Martin went to a very expensive private school in town. Martin was a rare child: a hybrid human vampire. He aged like any other child and could eat normal food and even go out in the sun, but he still needed human blood to live. Oswald had found him a few years prior and had been caring for him as a father ever since. 

In order to fit both of their lives, Martin slept as soon as he came home from school until a bit after sunset when it was dark so he could spend some time with his father. It worked perfectly.

Oswald told Martin to keep working on his science work while he got the door.

Standing in the doorway was a very tall man with glasses and a tan sweater-vest. Oswald almost shuddered at the sudden hostile energy.

“Sorry, we’re not interested in Jesus or whatever,” Oswald said shortly, moving to shut the door again.

The man threw his hand out to catch the door. “Lucky I’m not here to discuss Jesus.” He smiled, looking a bit like an idiot.

Oswald hesitated. “What do you want, then?”

“I came to see about the tutoring position for… was it Martin?”

“Mart _in_ ,” Oswald corrected harshly. “And yes, we were wondering when someone would contact us.” Oswald narrowed his eyes at the man. “Though it would have been much more convenient if you’d just called.”

“Well, your address was on the flyer and personally think it’s best to see if Martin and I get along before we commit to regular tutoring sessions.”

Oswald begrudgingly thought that made sense. He moved aside to let the dork in.

“I don’t believe I caught your name,” he said as the man entered.

“Ed,” he replied simply. “And you are?”

“Oswald. Cobblepot. Martin’s father.”

Ed smiled again. It was almost scary how wide it was. 

“And where is the boy?”

Oswald led the way to the dining room, where Martin was doing some worksheets at the table.

“Martin, hello,” Ed said upon seeing him. He held out his hand to shake and Martin did, after a moment of slight reluctance. “I’m looking to be your new tutor.”

“Hello,” Martin signed in response, ever the polite and courteous child. 

Ed turned to Oswald with casual innocence. “Is he deaf?”

“No,” Oswald answered. “He can hear just fine. He doesn’t talk, though.”

Ed seemed delighted at that. “He’s mute?” And Oswald’s nod, Ed’s grin turned larger. “Wonderful. I know ASL, so there shouldn’t be any problems.”

Oswald let Ed and Martin chat a bit while he scrolled through his phone on the couch, every once in a while texting Barbara to see if she was free later.

After a few minutes, Martin ran into the living room, dragging Ed behind him. 

“I want him to be my tutor,” he signed. 

Oswald shrugged. “That’s fine. We’ll just figure out a schedule and the price and then you can start, Mr…. uh… I think I forgot your last name.”

“Nygma,” Ed replied helpfully, still persistently grinning like a jack-o-lantern.

“Mr. Nygma,” Oswald said, immediately recognizing the name. The idiot had told him he was the tenant in number 19, after all. Oswald would have been a fool to not check the name on the resident list in the lobby. Nygma was not a name someone could forget easily. “You have my number, so just call me later and we’ll figure out the details.”

Ed nodded agreeably. “Thank you very much, Mr. Cobblepot.” He turned once again to Martin to bid him farewell and then he was gone.

Oswald glared at the door after it closed.

He almost forgot Martin was there until he felt a finger lightly tap his shoulder.

He looked up and Martin signed, “He smells weird.”

“You mean his cologne?” 

Martin rolled his eyes. “No, I mean his blood smells weird.”

Oswald blinked. He hadn’t noticed anything.

Still, he wasn’t gonna take any chances. The last time Martin thought someone’s blood smelled weird, Oswald had a hunter on his hands.

“I’m not gonna let you out of my sight,” Oswald said sternly. “Why did you want him as your tutor if he smells weird, anyway?”

“He’s nice,” Martin signed. “And I really want to get my science grade up to an A+.”

Oswald huffed. The risk of a hunter for the sake of a slightly higher grade? 

“If that’s what you really want, we have to be incredibly careful. Do you understand, Martin?”

Martin nodded, a slight smile on his face.

This Ed Nygma was undoubtedly just a petty human tenant who wanted to do his laundry at a convenient time and tutor kids for extra money.

He could also be a vampire hunter.

Oswald was prepared for the worst.


	2. želudac

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's word of a monster hunter in Gotham.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here have some more characters or something
> 
> im really used to writing realistic fiction so i find world building and this level of exposition is a bit tricky. please go easy on me if its all too much.

**_Ловац_ **

Jim had been a bit suspicious of Ed Nygma ever since started working for the GCPD a year ago. He wasn’t  _ right _ , somehow, but Jim couldn’t put his finger on what it was that uneased him so.

Eventually, Jim just chalked it up to Ed being  _ weird _ and left it at that.

That didn’t mean he was any easier to tolerate.

“Detective Gordon,” Ed sing-songed. “Did you know that--”

“No, I probably didn’t,” Jim cut off. “Can you just drop the forensics report on my desk when you’re done? I have a headache and really can’t deal with any riddles today.”

“Oh,” Ed muttered morosely. “Yes, I can.”

Jim didn’t reply to that, just sighed and kept moving until he was at his desk. Maybe he should use the headache excuse more often. It did a pretty good job shutting the guy up.

There was a pretty open-and-shut case he and Harvey were working on, but since that had been mostly wrapped up and Harvey still hadn’t arrived to work (as per usual), Jim decided instead to work on another case.

He liked to keep tabs on certain kinds of events. He’d been drawn to Gotham for a reason. 

He opened his desk drawer and pulled out a manilla folder whose contents were for his eyes only. If anyone saw what was in it, they’d think he was writing a fantasy novel. From a distance, it just looked like Jim was working on some paperwork.

Last week there had been two exsanguinated business men abandoned in an alley. 

Harvey had muttered something about, “What kind of sick freak--” and Jim bit his tongue sharply to keep from saying  _ you have no idea _ .

The throats had been slashed, but Jim had been doing this long enough to know that  _ they  _ knew better than to leave evidence of their bite-marks. The freak had probably slit their throats post-mortem.

People were dying to satisfy the literal bloodlust of monsters, and Jim would find them and put a stop to it.

The only time he ever hesitated was when there was a child involved, but Jim was not going to let anything get in his way.

“Morning, Jim,” Harvey’s voice said groggily as he collapsed into his swivel chair. Jim rushed to shut his folder. “God, is that the exsanguination thing again? I thought we decided to give that case to Alvarez.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jim muttered, wracking his brain for an excuse. “I’m just still so confused, so I keep looking at the file to see if there’s something I missed.”

More like he was the only one who saw the crime for what it was.

Jim put his folder back in his desk, deciding to change the subject before Harvey decided he was also curious and saw all the notes about fangs and parasites. “You’re late again this morning. Another hangover?”

Harvey sighed and then proceeded to ramble about the night he had. Jim was pretty good at distracting his partner.

* * *

“Jesus Christ,” Harvey hissed as soon as they saw yet another pair of exsanguinated victims on the docks. “Christ, Jim, this couldn’t be a serial killer, could it?”

Jim bit his lip and tried to look confused. “Could be.”

“God, I hope not,” Harvey said. “Doing this to four suckers? This guy is a real freak.”

_ These guys, _ Jim internally corrected. Two vics on two different occasions gives the impression that there’s two of them. Working as a team.

Harvey bent over one of the vics to get a better look and Ed filled out his little notebook nearby while Jim tried to guess the distance between these docks and the alley the first victims were found.

“Uhh… Jim? Take a look at this.” 

Jim approached just as Harvey scooted over to let him see. 

“There’s  _ chips  _ here,” Harvey said, voice raised.

There were indeed: a few Doritos, it looked like, scattered on the floor and speckled with blood.

“So the vics were eating chips when they got attacked?” Jim guessed.

“Then where’s the bag?” Harvey asked. Jim refrained from rolling his eyes. 

“Harv.”

“The  _ killer _ was the one eating the chips!”

“That doesn’t exactly help us. What can we do, send out an APB on every Gothamite who likes Nacho Cheese Doritos?”

“Well, they should get locked up anyway. Cool Ranch is better.”

“ _ Harvey _ ,” Jim said. “The point?”

“I don’t know, Jim. Maybe there’s some DNA on the chips.”

Ed scoffed almost inaudibly from his position a few feet away. 

“You got something you wanna share with the class, Nygma?”

“Not really, Detective,” Ed said with a grin. “I’ll run that…  _ DNA _ for you.”

Ed turned back to his notebook and Harvey insulted him crudely under his breath.

“Well, at least now we know our murderer likes chips,” Harvey said, obviously bitter.

Jim furrowed his brows at that, because all of a sudden this didn’t make any sense.

Vampires didn’t eat chips. They didn’t eat any food because their digestive systems were quite literally dead. Maybe they were just covering their tracks?

That seemed like a reach.

Jim decided to discard the information for now. It wouldn’t help the investigation at all. 

The job of a vampire hunter was to first and foremost keep people safe, and four people were already dead. He needed to hurry up and catch this monster before more people got their bodies sucked dry of blood.

* * *

**_Вампир_ **

“Martin!” Oswald shrieked, never taking his eyes off the tenant at number 19. “Your tutor is here!”

_ And I don’t wanna spend another minute alone with the creep _ .

“I didn’t mention it before, but you have a lovely home, Mr. Cobblepot,” Ed said with a smile as he ignored Oswald gesturing uselessly to the dining room table. “A lot of black.”

Oswald rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I’ve been to a lot of auctions and it’s all very expensive. Just sit down and Martin will be right out.” Ed stared at him blankly and Oswald forced a smile. “Make yourself at home, of course.”

“Will do!” Ed chirped, finally moving to sit at the table.

Martin emerged some time after, carrying all his books and pencils.

“What were you doing?” Oswald signed before Martin moved in view of his tutor.

Martin frowned, unable to sign back due to his hands being full.

“I don’t like him.”

Martin stuck his tongue out and brushed past him, setting his materials on the table and smiling brightly at Ed. Ed returned the greeting with a grin of his own.

Oswald grit his teeth and went to do something something mindless to get his mind off of drinking this guy just for sport.

Oswald didn’t stray far. He sat on the couch, making sure Martin was within eyeshot so that dork didn’t try anything. If he  _ did _ , he’d be dead in only two seconds.

Oswald was trying to read, more difficult than it should have been because he kept casting glares in the direction of the table.

It got worse when the two of them started giggling.

“Yes, see, you got it,” Ed’s voice praised and Oswald sneered. 

Of course Martin got it. He was the smartest boy in the world. How dare this man not realize that?

After two hours of this torture, Ed gasped, “Oh, darn. Looks like we’re out of time. I’ve got to head home.”

_ What’s the rush when you live right downstairs?  _

Not that Oswald was complaining that the man would finally be gone.

He watched as Ed and Martin both stood.

“You made a lot of progress today, Martin,” Ed said. The two beamed at each other and Ed glanced up to make eye contact with Oswald. Oswald narrowed his eyes and dared him to look away. Ed’s smile seemed to grow but he did look back to Martin. “I’ll be back Thursday to go over fractions. There’s a neat trick I want to teach you.”

Martin nodded enthusiastically and signed something Oswald couldn’t see.

Ed left after some farewells. Oswald pretended he couldn’t hear Ed’s “Goodbye, Mr. Cobblepot,” deciding to ignore him instead.

After Martin was done tidying up the table, he quickly walked over to the couch, fuming. 

Oswald put his book aside.

“You were rude,” Martin signed.

“I don’t like him,” Oswald replied simply. “I don’t like having him in my house. He gives off a bad energy. Besides, you were the one who said he smelled weird.”

Martin shrugged. “At first. I’m used to it now.”

“That doesn’t mean there isn’t anything to worry about.” Oswald stood to put his jacket on. “He could be a hunter just biding his time to stake us and we’d be none the wiser because you’re used to his smell.”

Martin huffed. “He’s nice.”

“Well, he would be, wouldn’t he? It’s all an act, I can tell.” He turned his back to Martin for a moment to put on some cologne in the bathroom. Martin hated when he did that.

There was a sharp tug on his shirt and he turned to see his son glaring at him. “Just be nice to him! You don’t have to trust him but don’t drive him away! I like him!”

“Fine! But I’m doing the bare minimum for the sake of civility and that’s it!” Oswald hated that Martin always had his way. Maybe he was spoiling him too much. “Now put your coat on. It’s time for dinner.”

“Are we going out again?” Oswald was amused by how quickly Martin’s mood could go from furious to excited. At Oswald’s nod, Martin ran into his room to get his coat.

* * *

Oswald had the enormous pleasure of being a vampire. It included many perks. 

Blood was absolutely  _ delicious _ , especially when it was hot and pulsating. 

He’d always preferred the night anyway, even during his days of being alive, so he didn’t even sacrifice much.

The coffins were a bit uncomfortable at first but once Oswald figured out how to maximize space and comfort, he rather liked them. And hiding them under makeshift daybeds gave the bedrooms less of a “mausoleum” impression. 

The immortality was also very enjoyable, though there were some unfortunate drawbacks that nobody had mentioned to him when he was turned.

But one of the best parts was the flying.

He could fly in his human guise just fine, though it wasn’t inconspicuous and it would raise quite a few eyebrows. The preferred mode of flight was in the shape of a moth and Oswald lucked out with being able to take the form of a black Coronet moth instead of an ugly brown one. Martin’s moth form was very pretty as well, the  _ Mesoleuca albicillata _ . His wings looked like lace.

Flying made their crimes almost untraceable, as long as they were careful. 

They flew over the city for a while, trying to find a good meal.

There was an elderly couple alone at the park and though Oswald could have gone for a vintage, Martin decided to be a snob. He wanted fresh, young blood. The aged reds took some getting used to, Oswald could admit. But that meant Martin had to pick someone.

They ended up drinking in yet another alley, feeding on two Gotham U students who had been debating Utilitarian ethics. Oswald really just wanted them to shut up. Martin thought they smelled good. They had not been expecting two vampires to drop out of the sky and put an end to their philosophical discussion forever.

When the bodies were nearly drained, Oswald slashed both of their necks. 

“Do you think he smells good?” Martin asked.

Oswald looked at the student he’d drained and shrugged. “He was okay.”

“Not him,” Martin signed with frustration. “Ed.”

“Well, I didn’t really get a good whiff,” Oswald answered sardonically. “I bet he tastes awful.”

“Probably just weird,” Martin signed, looking dazed.

Oswald didn’t mention that he wanted to drain Ed either way, that he’d drain his whole body until he stopped flailing, whether he tasted heavenly or like shit. 

Imagine the  _ surprise _ on the idiot’s face at discovering Oswald was a vampire. It would be a treasured vision for the rest of Oswald’s undead life.

But for the time being, Oswald had to hold back his hatred of the man and let him live long enough for Martin to finish his grade with a series of A+s.

Oswald cursed the fact that it was only September.

* * *

**_Bештица_ **

Ed was reading his mail over coffee and eggs when he noticed one of the letters had his coven’s seal on it in dark magenta wax. He turned the envelope in his hands while one his cats, Query, settled in his lap.

He opened it curiously.

_ To Whom It May Concern, _

_ An issue has arisen in our community that could pose a safety risk for us.  _

_ Thus, I am arranging a meeting of our Eight on Thursday at 9 o’clock at the Gotham Hotel’s Red Room to discuss this problem and what we can do to make sure we are all safe. This is a mandatory meeting so I expect every member of the committee to be present.  _

_ Thank you, _

_ Lee Thompkins _

Ed put the letter aside with a sigh. 

The last time there was an “issue” in the community, one former member of the Eight, Isabella Kringle, had moved away, leaving the coven with only seven members. Her sister, Kristen, had called the situation a tragedy but she was perhaps the only sad to see her go. She was replaced quickly and there hadn’t been much of an issue at all.

Ed doubted there was any need for much concern this time either, but Lee had to send out these memos every time there was any problem because their coven was a democracy and she always liked the other witches’ input. Personally, Ed wouldn’t mind if Lee decided to be like other High Priestesses and call some shots without gathering all of the Eight, but she didn’t want to get her  _ Apatura iris  _ wings burned over a candle for being too much of a dictator.

This did, however, pose a problem with his tutoring schedule.

He’d made a lot of progress in the last few days. Martin seemed to like him quite a bit, and Ed couldn’t deny he found the boy somewhat endearing. He was bright, after all. But  _ Mr. Cobblepot _ , the stupid  _ laundry hogger _ , seemed very suspicious and it was unsettling. Ed worried he might get distracted from his plot if he kept looking up to see those piercing green eyes glaring at him.

But he would not allow Oswald Cobblepot to scare him off! He’d get his revenge and then he could go back to doing his laundry at the time he liked in peace.

He called Oswald and tried to come up with an excuse before Oswald picked up.

“Hello?” Oswald asked, already aggravated. 

“Mr. Cobblepot!” Ed exclaimed. “Hello! How are you?”

“What do you want?”

Ed hummed. “Oh, I was just calling to say that I’m very sorry but something has come up and I won’t be able to tutor Martin on Thursday.”

“And why is that?” Oswald inquired, voice tinged with suspicion.

“I have a meeting for work,” Ed said, using the first excuse he could think of.

“At 8?”

_ Dang it _ . “It’s for forensics. We work late.”

“Forensics?” Ed cursed the sudden interest in Oswald’s tone. “You work for the police?”

“Yes,” Ed said quickly. “Anyway, I’d like to reschedule so Martin doesn’t miss any study time--”

“I didn’t take you for someone who would work at the GCPD,” Oswald mused. “Are you a stickler, Ed?”

“Please email me with any times you and Martin are available and we’ll figure out the soonest available appointment.”

“Oh, I will,” Oswald said disinterestedly. “Any interesting cases recently?”

“I can’t really talk about that,” Ed bit out. “But it’s been nice talking to you--”

“Bye.” 

Before Ed could reply, the line was dead.

* * *

The Gotham Eight didn’t meet often. 

Witches preferred to work alone. Only the most powerful spells required the magic of the entire coven and it was rare that such a spell needed to be cast at all. 

Ed was one of the first in the Red Room (gathering under the pretense of being a volunteer organization for the sake of their anonymity). The only other person in the room at first was Victor Fries, who had recently been dabbling with cryokinetics. Ed didn’t talk with him very much about that because he wasn’t particularly close with Victor, but everyone in the Eight knew his recent obsession was related to his sick wife.

Ed became a witch just as supernatural entities were becoming more corporate. Earlier, witches would meet outside of towns, deep in the forests or inside dripping caves. Nowadays, all Lee had to do was send out a memo and everyone would meet up in the nearest available conference room for a powerpoint presentation.

There were still some significant differences between a coven meeting and a business meeting, but the shape of the event remained the same.

Ed sat at the glass conference table and fiddled with his hands as Victor stared impassively at the wall. 

Ed almost sighed with relief when the door opened and Kristen entered. 

He was about to greet her when she exhaled heavily and collapsed into the chair next to him. 

“Do you have any yellow yarn?” she asked, leaning her head on her hand. “I’m not feeling so good and I just need a little pick-me-up.”

“You don’t have any?”

“I ran out last week,” she complained, swiveling in her chair a little. “I was going to get some on the way here but I ran out of time and I didn’t want to be late.”

“I might have some,” Victor said. He leaned over to start rummaging through his bag.

Her handed Kristen about a foot of yellow yarn and Kristen thanked him profusely before she began to murmur and knot.

Most common spells were knot spells. They could sometimes be rather powerful, depending on the concentration of the chant, the number of knots, and the witch’s ability.

A bit of mood alteration didn’t require very much skill or effort, and most practiced witches like the Eight could probably do it in their sleep.

Before long, Jonathan was in the room (not late for once). 

He and Victor were discussing potions. 

Jonathan was the most talented at potions out of the Eight. Ed personally didn’t usually have the patience to dabble in recreational potions that could sometimes take weeks to brew and didn’t usually fill his apartment with a pleasant aroma. If he had to make one, he would, but Jonathan was fond of experimenting with potions, finding ways to strengthen the effects or maximize its duration.

Shortly after Jonathan appeared, Jeremiah followed. Nobody liked him very much (not that the Eight had any obligation to be friends with each other). He could be a bit difficult to relate to sometimes. Jeremiah had been the one to replace Isabella, so Kristen quietly resented him for it. Everyone else disliked him because he could be a bit of a jerk. Most of them attempted civility though.

After Jeremiah, the rest appeared quickly and soon Bridgit, Ecco, and Lee had all arrived and the Eight had fully gathered.

Lee made herself comfortable at the foot of the table, a polite smile on her face as she waited for everyone to settle.

“Hello, witches,” she greeted formally. “I hope everyone has been living a fruitful life since our last meeting.” Everyone nodded in compliance, even if their lives hadn’t been fruitful. “Now, I called this meeting because something has come to my attention and it’s incredibly important that I notify you in the safest way possible: in person.” She sighed wearily. “I’ve been alerted by some sources, mainly some foggy oneiromancy, that there is a hunter in Gotham.”

Ecco gasped melodramatically. “Oh no!”

“With this in mind, it’s no longer safe to send correspondence detailing magic of any sort in the case it gets intercepted. This includes phone calls. So be brief and vague in all your discussions.” Lee moved her gaze across the table to look each of her subordinates in the eye. “I know we all put a lot of effort into staying in the shadows but it’s now more important than ever. Do not discuss your magic with anyone, even as a joke. Nobody can know. If this hunter finds even one witch in Gotham, they will realize there must be seven more. Nobody can find out about us or it would destroy our coven.”

There was a moment of silence as everyone pondered her words.

“Do you have any way of knowing who this hunter might be?” Kristen asked, still absentmindedly knotting the yarn in her hands under the table. “I mean, maybe if we have more of a clue, we’d be able to avoid them better.”

“All I know is that they only arrived in Gotham recently and they probably aren’t working alone,” shared Lee. “I don’t have anything regarding their appearance or location.”

A chill ran down Ed’s spine as the first detail crashed down on him. “Do you know how recently?” he asked.

“A few months ago,” she answered dutifully. “Maybe a year. They’ve had enough time to settle down and have already killed a family of local lycanthropes.”

Ed fidgeted uneasily as it occurred to him that  _ Oswald Cobblepot _ had moved in about a year ago.

“Are there any other questions?” Lee asked. When nobody said anything, she smiled shakily. “Okay! Then, that would be all. Just make sure not to reveal your identity to anyone, not even your closest friends.”

Kristen giggled. “How’s that been going for  _ you _ ?” she asked snidely. “You haven’t told Mr. Perfect that you’re a witch?”

“No,” Lee said, standing as Jonathan and Jeremiah quickly made for the exit. “And I never will. As much as I trust Jim and I’d like to tell him, I also know it’s a huge risk. Chances are he’d think I’m crazy.” Her voice grew wistful and she looked at the ground. “It’s sad being a witch, but we all make the most of it.”

“Amen,” Ecco cheered. 

And as they all left the Red Room talking about Lee’s fascinating new love life, Ed stayed shock silent as he realized that he might have committed himself to working for someone who might want to kill him.

Horrifyingly, Oswald Cobblepot being a hunter was starting to make a whole lot of sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> serbian translations:
> 
> želudac (zheh-loo-dahts): stomach
> 
> Ловац (lovac or loh-vahts): hunter
> 
> reminder that Вампир and Bештица mean vampire and witch, respectively
> 
> the number 8 signifies balance and harmony. moreover, theres 7 member witches and 1 leading witch bc 7 is a holy number (there are 7 sins but also 7 virtues, etc.)
> 
> a very cool thing is that in some slavic lore, witches turn into butterflies while vampires turn into moths. i thought that was kinda cute.
> 
> the two main texts i used as research for this fic are Balkan Traditional Witchcraft by Radomir Ristic and the Barnes and Noble Slavic myth book Forests of the Vampire, if anyone wanted to be a nerd and read some folklore.


	3. pluća

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While some kiss, others bite, and nobody gives anything away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its been a while but i got a lil inspiration so if anyones still interested in this fic, heres to u.

**_Свећеница_ **

“You look beautiful tonight,” Jim said, sounding a bit shy. 

Lee blushed. “Thank you,” she replied, sitting on the chair he was holding out for her. She smiled brightly when he sat across the restaurant table at her. “How was work?”

“Bloody,” he answered tightly. “And yours?”

Lee blinked away the memory of the child that she couldn’t save earlier that day, how she’d swallowed her sorrow before she’d swallowed his heart. Dead hearts were nothing compared to fresh, beating ones, but Lee had never been comfortable with stealing functional organs from people. As high priestess, it was one of her goals to assimilate her Eight to a less violent way of life. So far it had not been successful. “Bloody.”

Jim smiled sadly. “We both have hard jobs,” he conceded. “How about no shop talk at dinner?”

Lee nodded quickly in agreement. They both picked up their menus and sat in peaceful silence for a moment.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been able to go out like this so much this last week,” Jim said, eyes never parting from the wine list.

“That’s okay,” Lee replied. “I know you’re busy.”

They ordered, then ate--Jim his pasta and Lee her extra rare steak--and after Lee paid (her surgeon paycheck far exceeded Jim’s detective salary and he wasn’t too proud to admit it), they walked out together to get a taxi.

“Seeing you is  _ everything _ ,” Jim whispered into the cold air, his words written on his hot breath. “I don’t know how I’d cope if I didn’t have these nights with you.”

Lee’s heart skipped a beat. She grinned and nodded. “I feel the same way.” 

He leaned in for a kiss and she quickly reciprocated, feeling a pang of guilt that she was  _ lying _ and would  _ always  _ be lying because he couldn’t know. It would ruin everything. He pulled away and chuckled sweetly. 

“Would you mind a guest tonight?” he asked politely, a taxi pulling up at the curb.

Lee shook her head. “I have surgery in the morning,” she explained. “I’ll call you tomorrow. Maybe if you’re free, you can barge in.”

Jim had seen her apartment before, spent as much time there as he could, and had never asked any questions about her pantry full of herbs, her closet full of spools of yarn, the mortar and pestle she used to make medicines for her patients. Her issue with tonight was that Kristen was staying over.

Kristen had been suffering intensely since her sister had moved. She hated being alone, hated the cold emptiness of her apartment. Every once in a while, she’d crash on Lee’s couch, just to feel the distant heartbeat of another person.

Isabella had been selfish to leave her sister like this, not even a good bye or a  _ note _ saying where she was headed.

“I’ll be waiting for your call,” Jim grinned and gave her an extra kiss on her cheek. “Have a good night, Lee.”

Lee squeezed his hand and didn’t let go until she was seated in the taxi and had to close the door.

* * *

Lee was falling in love very fast. 

Her relationship with Jim was new, only two months, but it felt so intense and exciting. She hadn’t felt like this in decades. 

She hummed and spun around as she walked down the hallway to her apartment, an ever-present smile on her mouth the whole way.

“Lee!” Kristen greeted from her perch on the couch as soon as the door swung open. She was absent-mindedly making tiny knots of yellow yarn, same as she did everytime Lee saw her. This practice in small doses was good for mood alteration, but Kristen was doing it all the time. “How was your date?”

“Lovely,” Lee answered, reluctant to go into detail. She didn’t want to sound like she was callously gloating. “How was your evening?”

“Great,” Kristen said, turning her gaze to the TV, where some melodrama was playing. “I made some of your popcorn, if that’s okay.”

“That’s fine,” Lee said. “What’s mine is yours.”

She sat next to Kristen on the couch. They watched TV for a while, though Lee couldn’t focus on the plot of a wild affair. She ate several handfuls of popcorn, still sitting in a bowl on the coffee table.

“Kristen,” she started at the next commercial break, suddenly struck with an idea. “I want to give you a key to my apartment.”

Kristen sat up in surprise. “What?”

“I want you to feel welcome here. You don’t have to be a guest. I know you’re going through a lot and it must be really hard going through it alone. That apartment--” The one Kristen had shared with Isabella, the one Kristen didn’t like going home to. “--I can help you move out if you want.”

“I couldn’t impose,” Kristen said shakily, averting her gaze. 

“It’s not an imposition,” Lee said firmly. “I want you here. You’re one of my Eight, and you’re my  _ friend _ . Your well-being is important to me.”

Kristen exhaled a heavy breath. “Lee… Thank you. I’d… I’d really like that. You sure you don’t mind?”

Lee took both of Kristen’s hands in hers and moved so that Kristen had no choice but to make eye contact again. “I  _ insist _ .”

Kristen smiled, tears welling up in her eyes.

“Now put that yarn down,” Lee commanded. “I’m gonna make you my cheer tea and you’ll feel  _ much  _ better.”

* * *

**_Bештица_ **

Ed spent more and more time asleep, flying out of his mouth and upstairs to Oswald Cobblepot’s apartment, fluttering in and out of rooms and looking for something,  _ anything _ , that would give him away as a dangerous hunter.

Hunters were no laughing matter. They saw the world in black and white and never left even the most harmless monsters free, let alone cannibalistic witches. If a hunter was in his midst, Ed was in incredible danger.

Unfortunately, there was nothing in the Cobblepot apartment that even hinted at a hunter living within its walls. Not in any of the bedrooms--which looked practically unlived in--not in the fully-stocked kitchen, not in the living room, not anywhere.

Ed worked well into the night and came back very late, sleeping in an almost nocturnal pattern--not that he slept very much at all. During the day, Ed noticed, sitting still on a bookshelf, Oswald would disappear from the apartment completely, nowhere to be found. 

Martin would be present, naturally. Ed would watch him from the ceiling when he could, would see him absentmindedly eat Honey Nut Cheerios as he read or did his homework, or when he came home and cooked himself a quick meal or ordered take out. Where was Oswald? He was mysteriously wealthy, lived in the largest apartment in the building, and was never at home when the sun was shining.

He’s  _ hunting _ , his paranoia whispered.

And how ridiculous that would be, for a hunter to do his work in broad daylight. Hunters had to be as secretive as the monsters they hunted, to avoid detection by both normal civilians and their targets. 

If Oswald was a hunter, he wasn’t a very good one.

After a week of stalking the Cobblepot apartment and finding nothing of use, Ed abandoned his mission and instead decided to contact the high priestess.

They arranged to meet at Ed’s place, because Lee was insistent that her apartment was off-limits.

“Just… be quiet,” Ed warned, cautious because of Oswald’s proximity.

Lee nodded solemnly and entered his apartment, dressed modestly as opposed to the usual opulence of high priestesses. She sat on his couch and folded her hands in her lap. 

“So what’s up?”

“I couldn’t tell you on the phone,” Ed said, shutting the door and running to the kitchen to pour his guest a drink. “You said not to mention anything specific and I can’t exactly be vague about this.”

“Go on.” 

Ed handed Lee a tall glass of cold water and stood, antsy, before her, refusing to sit. “I think the hunter lives in my building.”

Lee raised her eyebrows. “What?”

“And it’s someone I know.” He sighed. “We’ve been having a petty rivalry over our laundry and I’m afraid I might have set him off… I can’t just avoid all magic, because it’s  _ harvest season _ , Lee, and I need to do the longevity spell! If he finds out what I am, I’m done for--”

“Hold on, Ed,” Lee said, voice gentle. “Are you sure he’s the hunter? You don’t wanna jump to conclusions.”

“It’s pretty clear,” Ed stressed as he paced his living room. “He has a lot of very expensive-looking and old  _ antiques _ , and he’s very rich, but I don’t think he has a job. Him being a hunter is the only real explanation for that.”

“An inheritance?” Lee offered.

Ed ignored her. “He moved in about a year ago, just like you said the hunter did. And he  _ doesn’t like me.  _ He’s always glaring at me, like he’s suspicious of me. His eyes are always on me. All the time.”

Lee smirked at that and only then did Ed drop his sentence to pay attention to her.

“What?”

“Well, Ed… Did it ever occur to you that maybe this neighbor of yours just  _ likes  _ you?”

“Excuse me?”

“C’mon. He’s always staring at you? He’s either the worst hunter on the planet--so not the threat we’re on the look out for--or he just has a crush on you.”

“He does  _ not _ !”

Lee crossed her legs and leaned back on the sofa, relaxing now that the conversation had switched from professional to casual. Ed resented that. “You’ve been to his apartment?” she asked, voice tilting with interest and suspicion.

“Not like that,” Ed argued. “I tutor his kid. And I’ve snuck in there a few times when I was asleep.”

Lee chuckled. “Wow. Okay. Ed, I think maybe you like each other.”

Ed glared at her, stopping his pacing. “Absolutely not!”

Lee shrugged, getting to her feet. “I’m not concerned. My sources show that the hunter’s focus has been in midtown so… far from here. This Oswald man might be strange and  _ wealthy _ , but those aren’t really red flags. I think you like him. Ask him out. If he’s so rich, he might even pay for your dinner.”

“Lee! You’re not listening!”

“That’s  _ High Priestess Thompkins _ to you, Eddie, and I’m leaving now,” she chided, her smile never leaving her face. “Loosen up, Ed. You take life way too seriously. When was the last time you’ve been on a date?”

“1973,” Ed answered morosely.

Lee made a face. “Jesus Christ, Ed. Go ask him out. Have fun. Be careful, but don’t stress too much.”

“Lee!” Ed called desperately, but she was already out the door.

The door closed and he collapsed onto the couch, downing the glass of water Lee hadn’t touched. 

Lee knew nothing. She was foolishly optimistic and had fallen for a normal human, as if that could ever end in anything other than tragedy. 

If a witch wanted to date, they were better off hooking up with another witch (Ed’s last date had been with Kristen, after all, although that hadn’t resulted in anything). That way, they avoided the pain of lying to them, or the worse heartbreak of being honest. 

Even if Oswald had feelings for Ed--which was wrong and ridiculous and stupid--then what was Ed supposed to do? Date him until the relationship burst into flames, like Lee was probably doing with Jim?

Ed was neither masochistic nor that sadistic, and therefore not intent on breaking his own heart or someone else’s just to “have fun”.

Ed would not go upstairs for the next tutoring session.

* * *

**_Ловац_ **

“Every week a new call of some poor drained suckers and every week we gotta give it to Alvarez,” Harvey complained glumly. “Whoever this freak is, he’s gonna make Alvarez a hero when he catches him. Thanks to our help, of course.”

Jim hummed from his desk, not really paying attention. He was supposed to be at work on their newest case (some old man found shot in his home), but since that was so easily solvable, both he and Harvey were up to their eyeballs in a case they didn’t have jurisdiction over. Harvey had succumbed to helping Jim, muttering something about “giving Alvarez a hand” before he too started peeling over the files.

Gotham was a hub of monstrosities. Just a few months ago, Jim had been forced to solve a case with only a missing heart to go by, and it’d been a miracle that he’d found the offender at all. Then there had been the werewolves, bloodthirsty creatures that had been tormenting the city streets for months before Jim had shot them all soundly in the heart with his silver bullets. Covering all this hunting up was quite the challenge, but since he was a cop he had insight on what would be looked for in an investigation. 

This exsanguination case--obviously the work of two separate vampires--was really getting to Jim. Every time he thought he was getting somewhere, two new corpses would show up and he’d fall right back to square one.

“Am I interrupting?” came a sweet voice from behind and Jim jumped in his chair and quickly closed his files--which sounded a lot crazier than Harvey’s--before turning around to look at Lee.

Harvey snickered. “Not at all, Doc. Gonna take my partner away to treat him for lunch?”

Jim rolled his eyes, trying to calm himself after the shock of Lee’s sudden appearance. 

“That was the plan, yes,” Lee giggled softly. “I have news.”

“You better not have knocked her up,” Harvey warned. “Your relationship’s too new for that kinda shit.”

Jim locked his files away into his cabinet, still attempting to catch his breath. “Let’s go, Lee,” he said, ignoring Harvey’s pointed and mocking look. 

“Bring me a take home box!” Harvey called, as Jim ushered Lee out of the precinct.

“There’s something I should tell you,” Lee started once they were seated in a tiny cafe near the GCPD. “It’s not scary, but it might change things.”

Jim nodded, feeling a little bit nervous. “I’m listening.”

“I have a roommate now.” Lee laughed a bit, checking her phone. “She’s a friend. Her sister disappeared on her a few months ago and ever since, she’s been struggling to be on her own. I thought living with someone else would be a good way for her to cope.”

Jim paused. He knew it was too soon in their relationship to even talk about moving in together, but this did slow things down a bit. “Thank you for filling me in.”

“Hey, this isn’t nothing!” Lee scolded. “We can’t go to my apartment anymore and I certainly don’t wanna sleep with you at your dirty place. You’re gonna have to start putting in effort.”

“I see,” Jim laughed. “I promise I’ll start tidying up.”

“Don’t just push things in the closet either. Really clean.”

“I will.” He noticed Lee glancing at her phone screen again. “You’re a good friend, Lee. Every day that we’re together I learn something new about you.”

He rejoiced at her subtle blush. “Well, be ready to learn even more. I’ve invited my new roommate to join us for lunch.”

Jim swallowed. “You did, huh?”

“Don’t make that face! She’s lovely. I’m sure you’ll get along swimmingly.” Lee’s face lit up when she checked her phone once more. “And she’s here!” She jumped to her feet and looked to the door. 

Jim cleared his throat and fixed his tie, preparing for a surprise meeting. 

“Jim, this is Kristen!” Lee introduced, tone as friendly and excited as ever.

“Hello, Detective Gordon. Lee’s told me so much about you.”

Jim looked up and reached out to take the proffered and manicured hand, freezing when he saw this Kristen’s face.

Oh God.

“H… Hi.”

He thought he’d already dealt with this witch.

* * *

**_Вампир_ **

Ed Nygma, Tenant at Number Nineteen, Mr. Please Change Your Entire Schedule and Life for My Sake, had not come to Martin’s tutoring session.

Martin spent hours sitting at the table, first idling with his supplies, then getting started on his homework. He’d finished all of it and Nygma still hadn’t appeared.

“Do you think something happened?” Martin signed when he was finished, standing in front of Oswald in the living room, face a testament of worry. 

“I doubt it. He’s a loser. He probably just forgot or something.”  _ Got it in his head that he was too smart to be tutoring a kid. Maybe drank himself to sleep after a bout of loneliness. Tragic _ .

“Dad.” Martin’s face was firm now, concern draining away. “He’s my tutor. I like him.”

“I know, I know,” Oswald said, getting to his feet. “You want me to call him?”

“No. I want you to go downstairs and check on him.”

Oswald gawked. “You’re joking, right? I’m not gonna  _ check  _ on him. You know I can’t stand him.”

“Too bad! You’re probably the reason he didn’t come! I want my tutor back!” Martin threw down his hands after signing and stalked down the hall to his own room, slamming the door.

He was such a spoiled brat. Oswald really let him get away with so much. He had way too much of an attitude.

Ed wasn’t supposed to know that Oswald knew he was Tenant Number Nineteen. That was supposed to be a secret until he was willing to use it, to throw it into that stupid, bespectacled face.  _ See? he’d spit. I bested you! I knew the whole time! _ And then he’d drain him of every last drop of blood in his body.

Instead, Oswald was giving away his cards and basically surrendering, just because he couldn’t ever say no to Martin. Oswald should have known he’d be an indulgent father. He couldn’t imagine this new entitled behavior of Martin’s would do him much good in the future.

For now, there was nothing to do about it.

Oswald rapped at the door, feeling shame and self-loathing overtake him at performing such a demeaning task.

Eventually, the door swung open and Oswald was surprised to see that Mr. Nygma looked like a mess. His hair was curly and tousled. He was only wearing pajamas, a plain t-shirt and flannel pants.

He looked exhausted. 

“Mr. Cobblepot?” His voice was rough with sleep.

“Martin waited for hours,” Oswald spat. “Waited for  _ you _ . What the fuck do I pay you for?”

“I don’t know if I can be Martin’s tutor anymore,” Ed said blankly. “I feel there is too much animosity between us,” he gestured between them. “And Martin can feel it. I can certainly feel it. It makes me uncomfortable so I can’t imagine how your son feels.”

Martin was right, then. A fact he should never learn.

“You feel uncomfortable?” Oswald scoffed. “You’re not gonna tutor my kid anymore because I don’t  _ bat my lashes at you?  _ Because I don’t like you? I didn’t realize that there was confusion about what your job was! Let me clarify for you: I didn’t put out a listing for a buddy. I wanted a tutor for my son. I don’t pay you money because I like you. I pay you because you teach my son science and math. Does that clear things up for you?”

Ed inhaled angrily, face twisted in disdain. 

“You’re right, Edward. I can’t stand you. But you’re not tutoring me. You’re tutoring Martin. So grow up and the next time I call you, you’re gonna go upstairs, tutor my son, and get my money after the fact. Is that clear?”

They glowered at each other. Oswald was sure that if Ed said anything more, he’d attack him, tear open his throat with the door wide open and just  _ drink _ .

Instead, Ed pulled Oswald by the lapels and before he knew it they were kissing.

This was a surprise. Ed pressed their lips together with as much pent up anger as he could, so Oswald could feel it with how their bodies were pressed together.

Oswald didn’t resist, pushing Ed further into the apartment and kicking the door shut behind him. 

_ This is what you wanted, huh?  _ Oswald mused as he grabbed the hem of Ed’s shirt and started to pull.  _ Is this what you’ve been dreaming of this whole time?  _

Was this what humans did when they hated each other? They couldn’t eat each other so they either fucked or killed each other?

Ed was tearing at his clothes and before long they were pushing and pulling and falling onto Ed’s beaten down couch. Jacket and shirts and tie all on the floor.

Ed’s apartment was neat and muted. It strained Oswald’s eyes to look at anything, so he kept his eyes shut and just continued kissing. 

“I fucking hate you,” Oswald hissed and Ed said nothing, just grabbing at Oswald’s back and pulling him closer.  _ I really can’t stand you _ .

Ed was laying on the couch, thighs bracketing Oswald’s hips. The kissing was too soft, too much the opposite of what Oswald really wanted to do to him.

He moved to plant a trail of rough and harsh kisses down Ed’s throat. Ed gasped and Oswald could fucking smell his blood this close and he smelled  _ divine.  _

Just one taste wouldn’t hurt, would it?

Martin couldn’t lose this tutor. He’d be angry with Oswald for weeks.

Instead, Oswald bit hard without fangs, drawing no blood, and Ed whimpered gleefully.

“God, please do that again.”

Oswald grinned and then happily obliged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> constantly updated serbian translations:  
> pluća (ploo-chah): lungs  
> Bештица: witch  
> Вампир: vampire  
> Ловац: hunter  
> Свећеница/svećenica (sveh-cheh-nee-tsah): priestess
> 
> if u have any questions or thoughts pls leave a comment!


	4. vrat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The consequences of an eventful night must be dealt with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i tried to update quick but writing with lore in mind means research which takes a little longer.
> 
> it's ed's birthday today so make sure to celebrate!

**_Bештица_ **

“You’re leaving already?”

Oswald scoffed, pulling his arms through his shirtsleeves. “I can’t leave Martin alone all night.”

Ed sat up on the couch. It had hardly been five minutes since they’d both collapsed in each other’s arms, utterly spent, and now Oswald was just gonna leave? Oswald disappeared and left Martin alone all day but he couldn’t stay an hour with Ed?

Maybe it  _ had  _ been too long since Ed had gone out. The rules to the game seemed to have changed.

“You didn’t think we’d  _ cuddle _ , did you?”

Ed’s face turned hot. “No! Absolutely not!”

Oswald shifted to face him, buttoning his shirt. “This was a one-time thing, Mr. Nygma. Don’t take this as an excuse to be unprofessional. You’re here to tutor Martin and that’s still the case. Nothing has changed.”

How had Oswald recovered so fast? He wasn’t even out of breath, sweat completely evaporated. Ed felt like he’d just run a marathon.

Ed didn’t know what to say, how to explain how irritated he was. He didn’t know how to elaborate on a feeling he didn’t really understand. Instead, he followed Oswald’s lead and started dressing.

“Huh. Didn’t know you had a cat.”

Ed looked over to the doorway to see Echo licking her paws. “I have two,” he said. “The other one’s around here somewhere.”

Oswald stood up, pulling his pants up with him and fastening his belt. “You don’t seem the type.”

Ed resisted arguing,  _ You don’t know me. How would you know what type I am? _

Oswald, now dressed, limped over to where Echo was sitting, ran a hand over her tiny head. She mewed, twisting her head to allow him to better pet her.

Ed glowered at her. _Traitor!_ _So much for the loyalty of a familiar_.

Echo was unfazed, rubbing Oswald’s hand with her furry black head.

“This was fun, Mr. Nygma,” Oswald mused, standing up straight. “I hope the memory of this keeps you satisfied at night.” He ignored Ed’s furious, red face, and winked, not waiting for a response before walking out the door.

After a moment of staring at the closed door, Ed got off the couch in a huff. “I’m gonna  _ kill  _ him!” he snapped at Echo, who blinked at him disinterestedly. “I’ll eat Martin’s heart and then I’ll tear that  _ cretin _ apart limb from limb and use every single piece of him for the next thirty years!”

Query popped her head in from the doorway to his bedroom. Both cats sat patiently and watched him.

“You,” Ed said, glaring at Echo. “Are now my least favorite cat. Query is now the lead familiar.”

Query preened at that, sitting up straighter. 

Ed walked past both of his familiars and into his bedroom. He opened a heavy black box next to his bed with the key under his pillow. His athame was inside, sharp and curved, ideal for extracting beating hearts from chests. 

“This,” he said as Echo and Query followed him into the bedroom. “I’m going to kill them both with this.”

_ Why? _ Echo asked with her next blink.

“Because all he ever does is  _ humiliate _ me!” Ed threw the athame across the room and it plunged into the wood of the door with a resounding thud. “I will not be treated like a fool in my own home. He will  _ pay _ .”

He went to pull the knife from the door, struggling only a little bit. 

“And if you ever betray me again, Echo, I’ll cut your heart out too.”

_ I don’t have a heart _ .

Ed ignored that and sat on his bed to sharpen his knife. There were plans to be made.

* * *

**_Вампир_ **

Martin flew across the room as the door flung open.

Oswald cursed loudly. “Jesus, Martin! You can’t do that! You scared the shit out of me!”

“Is he okay?” Martin signed.

“He’s fine,” Oswald waved him off and tried to walk to his bedroom, eager to get away from Martin and his overly observant nose. “He says sorry and he’ll be here tomorrow for sure.”

Martin smiled. “Really?”

“Yeah, and he says hi.” Edward had said nothing of the sort, hadn’t even really agreed to Oswald’s terms. Not that he really had a choice in the matter. If he continued to defy him, Oswald would bite him for real and he’d probably like that a lot less than the ones he got tonight.

Martin grinned. What he liked so much about Ed completely evaded Oswald. Was he really that good of a tutor?

“I don’t know why we can’t just get a new tutor.”

“Ed is a good teacher.” Martin’s smile took on a knowing look. “And we both like him.”

Oswald choked. “Excuse me? I believe you are mistaken,  _ Martin _ . I hate him.”

“You smell like him,” Martin signed, smile never faltering. “I bet you kissed him.”

Oswald was not about to correct his ten year old son with what else they’d done. “Fine. We kissed. How did you know that?”

Martin shook his head. “I can just tell.”

Oswald cleared his throat. “Martin, sometimes grownups really hate each other.  _ Sometimes _ , when they hate each other enough, they don’t know what to do with the energy that hatred produces, so they kiss. Humans do it all the time. I could’ve killed him but for your sake I…  _ kissed _ him instead.”

Martin’s smile vanished. “Healthy people don’t kiss people they don’t like.”

How was Oswald supposed to reply to that? He fumed and stalked off. “Eat your stupid Doritos or something! I’m going to go eat because I’m hungry!”

Martin stood still, looking almost disappointed. Oswald flew out the window, black Coronet and all, and left, trying to ignore the last image he saw of his disrespectful son, rolling his eyes.

* * *

“You fucked him?” Babs asked with distaste. 

Barbara Kean, owner of the most exclusive nightclub in Gotham, was sitting across the black booth from Oswald. The Sirens Club was a vampire hub, a safe place for creatures of the night to drink and be merry. Humans had to go through a severe vetting process before they could be allowed in. The rules for them were strict, since vampires didn’t hide there. Similarly, they weren’t allowed to be drained to death. Beverage or not, the Sirens did not want homicide detectives on their hands, investigating any murders.

Oswald narrowed his eyes at her.

“What?” Barbara asked innocently, crossing her legs. “I’m asking if you did.”

He continued his silence, refusing to break eye contact.

“Oh, you did, you  _ dirty bird _ !”

“Shut up, Babs.”

“Was he  _ good  _ at least?”

The memory of a gasping, writhing man holding onto him for dear life flitted through his brain. Of course he was good! He’d been very hungry for it and Oswald had never felt so  _ wanted _ in his entire life. There was no better aphrodisiac than hatred, it seemed.  _ Oh, my! _ Ed had exclaimed, and Oswald had found that amusing.  _ Oh, dear! _

He didn’t want to dignify that question with a response so he instead got to his feet. “I see now that when you offered to hear out my plight, you were being disingenuous.”

“Ozzie, sit down. I was teasing. You know me. Sit down and tell me what the issue is.”

He obeyed reluctantly, dropping into the booth yet again. 

“So you were saying you slept with Martin’s dork teacher?”

“Tutor. He works at the GCPD.”

“You nailed a cop?” Babs lifted an elegant eyebrow. 

“Absolutely not,” Oswald hissed. “He works in forensics. And just so you know, he’s the one who started it.”

“I don’t see the problem,” Babs mused. “I mean, I get it. Not your proudest moment, but you got some ass. Isn’t that kinda a win at the end of the day?”

“You don’t get it.” Oswald sunk into his seat. If he wasn’t dead, he’d be blushing. “I wanted to  _ kill  _ him. But Martin would’ve been disappointed in me if I did that, so I just…”

“You slept with him so you wouldn’t kill him?”

“More or less.” He released a heavy sigh. “I mean, I thoroughly enjoyed it, of course, but I hate the man. I still want him dead.”

“How you could fuck a human without biting them is beyond me,” Babs shook her head, eyes alight with faux admiration. “Wasn’t it torture? Being so close, smelling him?”

“It was… difficult,” Oswald conceded. “But I’m two hundred years old. I can control myself.”

Babs hummed, idling with the ring on her finger. “I don’t know why you’d even wanna bang a human anyway. I’ve been vampire-only for fifty years and it hasn’t done me wrong so far.”

Easy for her to say. She was married to a vampire and could get all the vampire sex she wanted.

“I don’t even know why I’m talking to you.”

“I don’t either.”

“Martin is being difficult. I just want to kill the tutor and get on with our lives, but he has grown attached and he’ll get mad at me.”

“Dude,” she scoffed. “He’s ten. Like, in total. What’s he gonna do? Throw a tantrum?”

“I hate seeing him upset,” Oswald bit out. “It’s how he always gets his way. Maybe that makes me a terrible father but I just want him to be happy.”

“Well, this is all up to you then. You can either give in to what Martin wants or you can do some self care and drink a sexy tutor down. That’s your choice. I can’t help you make it.”

Oswald knew she was right, that this was just one small hiccup. Ultimately, Martin would probably forget this ever happened and get over it in no time, but in the moment it would inevitably feel like a huge betrayal. 

“I’ll wait, then,” he decided. “I’ll let him raise Martin’s grade and then I’ll kill him.”

Babs smiled. “Wonderful.” She gestured for two sturdy looking humans at the bar to approach. “Getting thirsty?”

* * *

**_Ловац_ **

The lunch had been awkward, but maybe only for Jim. 

Lee knew that he disliked meeting new people and was probably chalking his sudden tenseness up to discomfort. Kristen maybe just thought he was rude.

Meanwhile, Jim’s heart was racing. 

Lee’s friend was a witch.

A few months ago, Jim had heard of a bizarre case: a man dropped dead on the subway in the middle of a crowd. The autopsy revealed that his heart was missing. 

He’d been living for an undetermined amount of time without a heart. The newspapers called it a medical miracle. Jim knew it was a witch.

Witches didn’t kill to steal hearts. They found their victims in their sleep, sliced the heart from their chests, devoured it, and then sealed the skin back up. Depending on the human, life after a witch’s theft could last years or only a matter of hours.

That’s what made hunting witches so difficult. The effects of their evil could sometimes take decades to kick in and by that time it was already too late to stop them.

Jim did his usual hunting work under the guise of follow-up police investigation and eventually managed to find a little witch by the name of Isabella Kringle.

If finding a witch was difficult, killing them was far easier, if not a bit inconvenient. 

He waited for her to fall asleep and then killed her body. With nothing for the consciousness to return to, she’d be left powerless forever until she decided to throw herself upon a flame.

The witch was dead. Jim had killed her body himself, had thrown her corpse into a bonfire outside of town. 

So how she had gotten to be sitting across from him, with only a difference in hair color to show for it, he had no idea.

Jim was pondering this mystery the next day, eyes on his old files from that witch case instead of on the exsanguination ones he was supposed to be moving on to.

If this really was the same person, Lee could be in incredible danger.

“Yo, Gordon. Bullock.” 

Jim glanced up to see Alvarez standing by his desk.

“Could use your help on a call I just got.”

“Got anything to do with your serial killer?” Harvey asked nonchalantly, glancing at Jim.

“Yeah, we think so, but we aren’t sure yet. This one’s different than the others. Wanna tag along?”

Harvey was already on his feet, grabbing his jacket. “Sure, we got nowhere else to be.”

Jim smiled tightly, shutting his files and locking them away in his drawer before nodding his assent.

* * *

“Hello, detectives,” Ed greeted at the crime scene, right outside a grocery store. 

“Hey, Ed,” Jim grumbled. He knew his job demanded getting rid of every monster--and these vampires were no exception--but he felt uneasy leaving a case that had to do with Lee’s safety. 

“Vic is male, early thirties,” Ed said quickly. “Wallet wasn’t taken and the ID says he’s an organ donor.”

“This one’s same as the rest--” Alvarez explained from where he was standing next to Harvey. “--throat slit, blood drained. Except there was only one vic this time.”

Harvey nodded and both of them stared daggers at the body, as if waiting for a clue to leap out at them. Apparently, one did.

“This one’s sloppy,” Harvey commented. “Usually, the guy does a clean job cutting their throats but this one’s jagged, like he was wasted or something.”

Alvarez nodded. “I think this one was a slip up. Guy messed up and the vic saw and the freak had no choice but to kill him. That’s why it’s so messy.”

“Got anything else for us, Ed?” Jim asked.

“Well--”

“Hold on a second!” Harvey interrupted, eyes wide as he looked at Ed. “Are those  _ bite marks _ ?”

Jim startled, approaching the vic to see if there were any tell-tale fang marks on the corpse.

“I don’t see any,” he replied.

“Not on the vic!” Harvey exclaimed. “On Ed!”

Ed was flushing red, his mouth twisting in embarrassment. “What--no--”

“They are!” Harvey jumped up with a laugh. And he was right: Jim could see red bite marks on the left side of Ed’s throat, peeking from below the collar of his jacket. “Holy shit--you got laid and you caught a live one! She was a little crazy, huh? I can tell.”

Ed flattened his mouth and inhaled deeply. “It was not a girl, actually,” he corrected matter-of-factly. “And it has absolutely nothing to do with the case, so I’d appreciate it if you dropped it.”

“Oh, I’m sorry for assuming,” Harvey said. “But good on you, Nygma. I didn’t know you had it in ya.”

Alvarez chuckled, elbowing Harvey in the stomach. Ed glared at the both of them before returning back to his notebook. 

“ _ Anyway _ , detectives,” he bit out. “There’s some fingerprint evidence on the walls and on the vic. The weird thing is the size.”

“Size?” Jim repeated. 

Ed nodded, obviously still irritated. “Yes. All of them are quite small. They probably belong to a child.”

“How the hell did he manage that?” Harvey asked. “Did he drag some kid here to throw us off our tracks?”

“There’s something else, gentlemen,” Ed said. “I can shoot, but can never kill. What am I?”

Jim was not in the headspace to attempt to solve this. “Can’t you just tell us?”

“A camera,” Ed answered, smiling bitterly. “This store has security cameras at every entrance point. It might be worth it to check out the footage, see if they caught anything.”

“Yeah, thanks for the tips, Ed,” Harvey said. “And congrats again on the sex. Don’t be so glum about it. Nothing to be ashamed of. You deserve it.”

Ed glared at him, but didn’t reply, simply walking away instead.

“You really need to quit bullying the guy,” Alvarez chided. “He’s gonna snap and kill us someday if you keep at it.”

“Hey, I’m not bullying anybody. I’m genuinely happy for the guy.”

“Guys, we should really check out the security footage,” Jim said, eager to finish this up and get back to the witch case. 

Alvarez and Harvey dragged behind for only a few seconds before they were inside the store.

There was no problem getting the manager to show them last night’s footage.

At exactly three fourteen in the morning, the vic was assaulted by a dark figure who seemed to have fallen from the sky. The figure visibly went for the man’s jugular and drank for a few minutes. Jim already knew this part, but he pretended to be as surprised as his fellow detectives. 

“Jesus Christ,” he muttered. Appearances and all that.

The figure let the body drop and awkwardly patted through its pockets until it withdrew a switchblade. Instead of one, quick slice across the throat, the figure dragged the knife, hard and slow, across the teeth marks. The figure glanced around before scurrying away and Jim’s entire stomach dropped when the camera caught a sliver of the person’s face.

It was a kid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> constantly updated serbian translations:  
> vrat (vraht): throat  
> Bештица: witch  
> Вампир: vampire  
> Ловац: hunter


	5. zube

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A vampire is on the loose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this will go from 0 to 100 really fast but i cannot help this

**_Ловац_ **

Harvey was the first to speak after they rewatched the footage four more times. “What the actual hell?” He glanced between Jim and Alvarez several times before speaking again. “No, seriously, what the  _ fuck _ ?”

“Did that kid… drink the vic’s blood?” Alvarez’s eyes were glued to the screen.

“Like a fucking  _ vampire  _ or some shit?!” Harvey covered his face with his hands. “What the fuck!”

“It’s a kid?” Jim muttered, staring at the still frame on the screen, of a round face, big eyes. 

“A vampire kid!” Harvey yelped. “What the fuck is happening to this city?”

“I’ve seen something like this before,” Alvarez said firmly. “Kids sometimes pretend to be vampires because they think it’s cool. Maybe this one took it too far?”

“Nine times?!” Harvey asked. “This kid has killed  _ nine  _ people just so he can play Halloween?”

“Maybe it’s not a kid?” Alvarez offered. “Maybe it’s like in that one movie, with the little girl who was actually, like, forty.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me!”

Alvarez and Harvey continued to bicker and freak out about the tape, but Jim couldn’t tear his eyes away from the kid’s face. It was familiar, like they’d met before.

And they  _ had _ .

Jim jumped a bit at the memory, but his coworkers were too distracted to notice. 

Jim became a hunter when he turned fifteen. His father was killed by a monster right in front of him.

The car had collided with a semi truck. His father’s face was smushed against the steering wheel and they were both covered in glass from the windshield. Jim couldn’t move, just touched lightly at the little cuts he had on his face, just stared at his father and waited for him to wake up. A man jumped out of the semi, not a scratch on him. He walked right up to their car and tapped at the window.

Jim had been a fool.  _ Help _ , he’d thought.  _ We need help _ .

As soon as the door opened, the man had ripped out his father’s jugular and spit it out on the asphalt. 

“He tastes like garbage,” the man sneered. He’d made eye contact with Jim, winked. “This is what he gets for messing with things he doesn’t understand. Learn from this.”

And then he walked away like nothing happened, leaving Jim to wonder where his voice had disappeared to.

The police didn’t believe him when he described the accident. They thought he was just traumatized, maybe concussed.  _ You’re seeing things that aren’t there. You’re crazy. _

Months later, after research and obsessive hunting, he found that vampire on his own and staked him, watched him scream.

“Learn from this,” Jim had muttered bitterly into the monster’s ear. Then he watched him collapse and die.

Jim understood that he had to keep going. If there was one creature, there must be more. Nobody was safe until they were all eradicated.

Witches, vampires, werewolves, demonic familiars. Jim had faced them all, had killed them all.

And this kid? The one with the big brown eyes and curly hair?

This kid was the one he let get away.

* * *

_ Jim had been on this case for months. Two at a time, once every week. Throats slashed, blood almost all gone. Vampires were all the same, covered up their fang marks the same way. _

_ He’d finally caught the pattern, had finally noticed that all the vics had been circling an apartment building. After months of tracking these parasites, he’d finally found them. _

_ Jim descended upon the apartment, snuck in at midday. This vampire was smart, had disguised his coffin as a daybed. Jim threw the decorative pillows and blankets on the floor, dragged the lid off the coffin. There was a man inside, dressed entirely in black, sleeping soundly on satin. _

_ “You,” Jim sneered, holding his stake up. “You have been killing people for months. Good riddance!” _

_ Then he heard a small gasp and quickly turned around to face a small child dressed in a bowtie.  _

_ The boy shook his head, mouth ajar in shock. He started moving his hands in sign language. Jim didn’t know what he was saying but he still understood. _

_ Jim hesitated, shaking. “He has  _ killed _ people.” _

_ The boy closed his mouth and shook his head again, didn’t stop shaking his head.  _

_ “I’m sorry, kid. A monster is a monster.” _

_ He turned back to the sleeping man in the coffin, raised his stake again. He was ready to drive it into the man’s waiting chest. _

_ But the child was watching him, with quivering and pleading eyes.  _ Please don’t _.  _

_ Jim yelled and threw the stake across the room.  _

_ “Fuck,” he’d muttered under his breath. Then he stood up and approached the child, who flinched away from him. “Get the hell out of this city. Don’t let this monster ever kill again, do you hear me? Next time, I’ll kill him.” _

_ And then he’d shoved past him, right out the door, right out the building, with the sun still shining.  _

_ “This is a mistake,” he’d told himself, but he kept thinking of that kid’s eyes-- _

* * *

\--The same eyes staring at him now from the screen. 

“I have to go,” Jim said, finally looking away from the footage.

“What? Where?” Harvey asked, pausing his frenzied conversation with Alvarez. 

“I have breakfast with Lee,” Jim said quickly. “I can’t be late again.” He tried to smile, but he couldn’t find the energy to do it properly. “I’ll call you later, Harv. Keep me updated.”

“Wait, Jim, you can’t leave us here with this,” Harvey called as Jim walked out the store. “There’s a  _ Little Vampire _ running around!”

Had that man turned an innocent child into a vampire? He couldn’t have been a vampire before! He had confronted him in broad daylight. If a vampire was exposed to those rays for long, he’d catch fire. When had he been turned?

Jim ran to his car, and as soon as he slammed the door, he tore open the exsanguination case file he had in the glove department. 

He grabbed a sharpie and scribbled his discovery into the margin of one of the papers.

_ The vampires that got away. _

* * *

**_Вампир_ **

“Martin,” Oswald called when he woke up. Last night had been intense. 

Hanging out with Barbara always resulted in high BAC arteries and second-hand buzz. It was a good thing nights with Barbara were a rarity. It wasn’t as if he could take his son there.

He rubbed his head and threw the lid off his coffin. “Martin,” he called again, to no avail. “You were supposed to wake me up when the sun went down.” 

He crawled out of the coffin and walked into the living room. 

“Are you doing your homework?” 

No answer.

“Martin?”

Oswald’s heart dropped into the hydrochloric acid of his stomach, started to dissolve in the liquid. 

“Fuck!” 

He ran from room to room, checking in every nook and cranny, looking for his son.

He was starting to panic when a throat cleared from behind him. He turned around and saw Martin perched on the window ledge. 

Martin smiled and waved.

“Get in here right now.”

Martin’s smile faded and he obeyed. 

“I was so fucking worried about you! Where the fuck were you?!”

“I was out,” Martin signed, nodding with his head toward the window. “I’ve been trying to eat on my own.”

“What?”

“Don’t worry, this time I just got some mac and cheese.”

“This time?”

Martin blinked and blushed. He wasn’t dead. He could blush all he wanted. “Well, last night, I wanted to prove that I could get take-out without you.” 

Oswald froze, unable to speak. 

“And I did good!” Martin was grinning again. “I found a guy really late when there was nobody around, and I got him! I even did the knife thing like you always do!”

“Martin, were you seen?”

Martin moved his hand. “No.”

Oswald sighed. “You can’t do that anymore, not on your own. If you want to practice, then we’ll do it together, okay?”

Martin stepped back. “I want to do it on my own.”

“Martin, you’ll get caught. You could get killed. Don’t you remember last time?”

“Yes!” Martin looked furious, eyebrows furrowed. “I was there! You were asleep! You’re the one who doesn’t remember!”

“Do you want it to happen again?!”

“No!”

“Then you can’t go out alone anymore!”

“I will!”

“Martin!” Oswald yelled. “You will only kill people with me, until you’re ready to go out on your own!”

“You’ll never think I’m ready!”

Oswald exhaled and resisted the urge to scream. “What has brought this all on? Why are you doing this?”

“You don’t trust me.”

“What? Are you talking about Mr. Nygma?”

“He’s not the only thing!” Martin’s eyes were welling up with tears. “You lie to me all the time.”

“That’s not true.”

“Where did you go last night?”

Oswald tensed. “I got myself some take out.”

“You went to Barbara again, didn’t you? You went to the Sirens.”

“The… The what?”

“Don’t lie to me! Barbara told me you go to her club sometimes!”

Oswald sighed. He’d have words with Babs later. “You’re not supposed to know about that.”

“Why can’t I go sometime? Why did you keep it a secret?”

“It… It’s dangerous.”

“No, it’s not! It’s a  _ vampire _ club! I’m a vampire too! They can’t hurt me!”

“Yes, they can!” Oswald snapped. At Martin’s shocked expression, Oswald turned around and went to the kitchen. He couldn’t eat anything in there. He was only rummaging through the cupboards to escape the look on Martin’s face. 

He sighed. He really hadn’t wanted to tell him any of this. 

He’d found Martin eight years ago, abandoned on the streets like a piece of trash. 

Just a baby, suckling the blood out of his own thumb.

Hybrids weren’t just half and half, not just the best of both worlds. Hybrids could breathe, could walk around all hours of the day, could bite and drink and shapeshift. But there was more to it, more that Oswald had never wanted to tell him. There was a weakness, an enormous and human disadvantage.

“You’re not a normal vampire, right? You know you’re different, right? There’s something I never told you, because I didn’t think it’d be important for you to know right away.” Oswald wanted Martin to interrupt, to tell him he didn’t want to hear this. Martin didn’t enter the kitchen. Oswald could feel him waiting on the other side of the wall.  _ Fine _ . “You... have human blood.” Oswald waited for Martin to run into the kitchen and hit him. When that didn’t happen, he continued. “Other vampires can drain you if they choose to. You’re still alive so full vampires can hear your heartbeat, can smell that you’ve got warm blood, and they can kill you.”

He peeked around the kitchen wall to look at Martin, whose eyes were full of rage.

“You lied to me,” he signed quickly before turning into a moth and flying out the window.

* * *

**_Свећеница_ **

Lee walked into the Red Room, mentally preparing for this time’s meeting of the Eight.

All seven of her coven looked up when she entered the room, hushing immediately.

She shut the door firmly and cleared her throat as she took a seat at the head of the table.

“I’m glad you could all make it.”

“It was a mandatory meeting, right?” Jeremiah asked snidely.

“Be quiet,” Ecco hissed.

“There’s several topics I want to address today.” Lee had her steno pad ready with a bullet point list flat on the table. “First, regarding the hunter: I’ve managed to narrow their reach to midtown. All of their movements have been in that area. I don’t want anyone to be overly concerned about whether the person who lives down the hall is the hunter--” Ed narrowed his eyes at her, but she pretended like she hadn’t seen it. “--Because the chances are very slim. But please come to me about any and all questions.”

“But not really ‘any’, hmm?” Ed muttered.

“What, Ed’s the paranoid one?” Victor inquired. “Why is that not shocking?”

“I wasn’t  _ paranoid _ ,” Ed argued. “I had every right to be suspicious.”

Ecco leaned in towards Ed conspiratorially. “Who? Which neighbor was it?”

Lee cleared her throat again. “Save your questions and comments for the end of the meeting, please.” Her coven reluctantly obeyed, shutting their mouths and returning their attention to her. “Thank you. The next point I wanted to address is that there’s to be no change in our behavior since the hunter is still out there. I’ll do everything I can to protect you, but help me do that by being cautious. No unnecessary magic and absolutely  _ no  _ magic in front of humans.

“I also wanted to talk a little bit about transitioning to less violent rituals--”

Ed raised his hand immediately. “Priestess, I simply cannot do that. I need to do my longevity spell properly and that means I need a living child’s heart.”

“Oh, yeah,” Jeremiah sneered. “Because you’re not a  _ real _ witch.”

Ed glowered and Lee sighed because  _ why did all the coven meetings turn so hostile? _

“I understand that, Ed,” Lee said gently. “I’m not proposing bloodless rituals. Not even I could do spellwork properly without a little bit of violence but there’s ways to use it sparingly. It will also help us quite a bit with avoiding this hunter. The less blood we shed, the less they’ll be on our trail.”

“Sounds good to me,” Kristen chimed in. “A good way to start is by substituting human blood with rabbit blood.”

“Though that does weaken the spell quite a bit, doesn’t it?” said Jonathan. “Maybe for inconsequential spells but human blood maximizes the effects of any spell.”

Lee smiled tightly. “Yes, but witches have been cavalier with human lives for far too long--”

“And they haven’t been cavalier with ours?” Bridgit retorted. “I mean no offense, Priestess, but there’s always hunters after us, and there always have been for as long as magic has existed.”

“You have a point,” Lee conceded. “But hunters aside, not all humans deserve a terrible bloody death. If you find the hunter in Gotham, do whatever you want with their blood or heart, but try to spare the innocents in our neighborhood.”

“ _ Priestess,” _ Ed whined, hand raising again. “My  _ spell _ . A child’s heart.”

Lee rolled her eyes. “Yes, I know, Ed. Do what you need to do. I’m just proposing that we consider where our ingredients come from more often.”

Ecco raised her own hand, fond of following Ed’s suit. “What if we use pedo’s hearts? If we find a sex offender registry, we could use them instead of nice normal humans.”

“Wonderful idea, Ecco.” Ecco blushed and Lee continued. “The main reason I called you here is something far more insidious than even a hunter. A source at the GCPD told me about something very--”

“Your source?” Ecco teased. “You mean your  _ boyfriend?” _

“Yeah, well it’s either Jim or Ed and I doubt Ed found anything useful to us,” Victor quipped.

“Hey!” Ed retorted.

Lee flushed. “Yes, Ecco, Jim. My source is Jim. Anyway, he told me about some footage they came across a few days ago that featured somebody drinking blood from a human victim. I didn’t say anything to him about it, but I know it’s a vampire.”

Ed stood up quickly. “From the exsanguination case?”

“Exsanguination case?” Lee’s eyes widened. “What exsanguination case, Ed?”

Ed gulped. “Well, for at least a month now, there have been exsanguinated bodies found in twos, appearing once or twice a week.”

“And you didn’t think to  _ mention _ that?!”

“To be fair, I did think it was some freak human, and not a vampire!”

“You can’t be so careless, Ed! Witch blood is  _ incredibly _ desirable to vampires! They’ve wiped out entire covens before!”

Ed sat back down, red with shame. “I’m sorry.”

“Okay,” Lee exhaled, trying to calm herself. “Ed, be more cautious in the future. There’s a vampire in Gotham and apparently they’ve been active for about a month. Even more terrifying is that Jim told me the face in the footage was that of a child.”

Ed looked up. “What did the child look like?”

Lee rolled her eyes. “God, Ed, there’s thousands of children in Gotham. Please don’t be paranoid. I promise you whoever you’re thinking of is not the vampire.”

Ed looked back down at the table.

“Just  _ please  _ be careful when talking to any new people, but especially kids.”

“But my spell,” Ed whined under his breath.

“And how will a dead heart help you, Ed?” Lee asked. “Can’t you save this spell for next year?”

“He’s not a real witch, remember?” Jeremiah reminded. “He has to do it every few years or he’ll begin to age at an increased rate.”

Lee sighed. “He is a real witch, Jeremiah, just not a  _ born _ witch.”

She ignored his muttered, “Same thing,” and instead tried to think this through. 

Ed was a self-taught witch, and, considering he wasn’t born with the ability, he was still quite powerful. But being self-taught came with many disadvantages. Born witches could hold off on longevity spells, since they’d start ageing naturally. If a born witch performed a longevity spell at thirty, she could be a hundred in reality and still age from thirty. A self-taught witch’s age never reset like that. If Ed failed to perform his spell in time, he’d begin to age rapidly--twenty seven to seventy five--and deaging was a painful and difficult spell with a low success rate. He could die.

“Ed is the exception for now,” Lee decided. “But you come to me about every decision regarding your spell. When you find a child, you come to me and we’ll plan appropriately. How about that?”

Ed nodded.

“Any questions?” Lee asked her coven. 

“Who’s the hunter neighbor?” Ecco asked Ed again. “Do I know them?”

“I don’t think so,” Ed replied.

“If there’s nothing else, then this meeting of the Eight is adjourned.”

Her Eight all stood and slowly the room emptied, with the exception of Ed, who lingered behind.

“Priestess,” he began.

“Lee, Ed,” she corrected. “The meeting is over. We’re friends, first and foremost.”

“Lee,” he said. “I know which child I’m going to use for my spell.”

“Already?”

“It’s my neighbor’s son.”

“Your hunter neighbor?”

Ed narrowed his eyes. “Maybe I overreacted. I was being cautious like you said, and maybe I was overly so.”

“I’m glad you came around. I’m surprised you want to kill his son now. I thought you were going to date him?”

“I never said that!” Ed exclaimed. “You said that, not me! And I don’t want to kill his son. I just want his heart. I’ve done this spell before, and the kids rarely die soon after I take the hearts.”

“But they do die, Ed. Living without a heart does cut the lifespan and it can ruin the person’s life. Imagine never being able to love again.”

“I don’t love anyone anyway,” Ed replied bitterly. “And Oswald deserves it, anyway. He deserves to suffer.”

“He does? What did he do to you to deserve losing a child?”

Ed stayed silent but his cheeks were staining red. 

“Ed, you can tell me.”

“He  _ humiliated  _ me.”

“How so?”

Ed shoved his hands on top of his face and Lee allowed it, since it was probably a motion of comfort for him.

“I tried to do what you said. I didn’t ask him out but… He was yelling at me and I was very angry at him, but I thought about what you told me and I thought maybe it was because he  _ liked  _ me? Maybe we just had chemistry… So I kissed him and then we…”

Lee nodded in understanding. “You slept with him.”

“And then he  _ left _ !” Ed stood up in a rush. “Right after!  _ Right after _ ! I am not an object to be used and discarded!”

Lee sighed as Ed paced. She waited until his footsteps slowed and he exhaled shakily.

“He made a fool of me.”

“You wanna know what I think?” Lee asked and Ed didn’t answer, just met her eyes sadly. “I’m saying this as your friend, Ed. I think you do like him. And he doesn’t like you back and that hurts.”

“First of all,  _ you’re  _ the one who said he did like me!”

“I said maybe, Ed. I’ve never even met the man. Rejection is painful. Excruciating. And it can feel humiliating, putting your heart on the line just to get cut down like that. But it’s a normal part of life.”

“I do not feel rejected,” Ed said. “Because I do not like him. I hate him. We hate  _ each other. _ You just don’t understand.”

“So why did you sleep with him?”

“Because you told me to!”

Lee shook her head. “I did not tell you to do that. Did I say, ‘go bang your neighbor and see how it goes’ or did I say, ‘ask him out to dinner’?”

Ed sank back in his chair, face bright red. “I hate him,” he said weakly. “I just want him to feel a fraction of how I feel right now.”

“Then move on,” Lee said firmly. “If you put all your energy into him, he wins. You have to move on and leave him behind. Let him know what he missed out on. Because he did, Ed.” Lee held Ed’s face and looked him deep in the eyes. “He missed out on a wonderful and intelligent man. Just remember that. You deserve better.”

Ed stayed frozen for a moment before he got quickly to his feet. “Thank you, Lee,” he said. “I’m still going to use his child for my spell, but the advice came from a good place.”

Lee sighed as he left the room. Why was her coven so stubborn?

* * *

**_Bештица_ **

Ed rapped on the door and straightened, trying to look as well put together as possible. 

The door swung open. “The fuck do you want?” Oswald snapped.

“I’m here to tutor Martin,” Ed said, raising an eyebrow. “You know, like you pay me for.”

Oswald deflated. “Martin isn’t here,” he said tightly. “You can have the night off.”

Ed smiled. “He’s not here?” He peeked his head into the apartment and Oswald closed the door just enough to hit Ed on the forehead. 

“No,” Oswald said with a wide grin. “He’s not. So you should leave!”

Ed pushed the door wider. “It’s ten o’clock at night. Why isn’t he home?”

“None of your business, Mr. Nygma.”

“It literally is my business, since we’re supposed to have a tutoring session now. If you remember, you really  _ drilled it into me _ the other night that you pay me to teach your son science and math.”

Oswald chuckled. “Yes, I do remember that. Vividly. I also remember you having a cat. So why don’t you go back downstairs and feed her or something?”

“Both of my cats are well-fed, but thank you for the concern.” Ed and Oswald did not break eye contact, not even to blink. “Where is Martin?”

“Part of me wonders if maybe  _ you  _ know.”

“Why would I know?” Ed asked, now genuinely confused. 

“Because I’m pretty sure you were the one feeding him those stupid ideas about me not trusting him properly!”

Ed exhaled. “Mr. Cobblepot, maybe I should come inside so we can talk in private.”

“Wonderful idea, Ed,” Oswald said, sounding very much like a threat. “Please, come inside.”

Ed stepped in and Oswald slammed the door. 

“Mr. Cobblepot--” 

“I know you’ve been feeding him lies about me during your little tutoring sessions! I know and you’re the reason he left!”

Ed wandered into the kitchen, almost expecting Martin to be waiting by the table. “Did Martin run away?”

Oswald hissed, “You already know, don’t you? Is this about the fucking  _ laundry _ ? Did you plan to ruin my family just because I wouldn’t change my schedule for you? This is a whole new level of petty, Mr. Nygma!”

Ed froze. He hadn’t expected Oswald to not  _ notice _ it was him after all, but the sudden knowledge that Oswald had been aware--possibly the whole time--was a bit jarring. Moreover, he really thought the plan had been something as petty and inconsequential as encouraging Martin to run away.

As if Ed would invest time and effort into something so uncertain and insignificant.

“I did nothing of the sort,” Ed said. “I taught him fractions and that’s all.”

“Liar!” Oswald grabbed Ed by the lapels. “We were  _ fine _ and then you show up and all of a sudden Martin doesn’t trust me? All of a sudden there’s problems? Excuse me if I don’t really buy the coincidence!”

Ed giggled. “Seems to me like there were already problems and you just didn’t notice them before.”

Oswald pulled him lower, so that their noses almost touched. “We were fine!” He was smiling--they both were--and if someone were to walk in, they’d think the two of them were fully deranged, yelling and grinning at each other. “Let me break this down for you in terms you’ll understand. We were stable and then a contaminant entered the experiment and now everything’s  _ fucked up!” _

Ed shook his head. “What terms are those? Barely scientific?”

“I fucking hate you!” Oswald shoved him and Ed yelped when he didn’t simply stumble backward and instead forcefully collided with the opposite wall. His head throbbed from the impact and he collapsed onto the floor. 

This was not right.

Oswald took a few steps towards him. “Oh no,” he said, voice heavy with faux concern. “Did you hurt your little head?”

Ed fumbled for the switchblade in his pants pocket, holding it ready in case Oswald tried to throw him across the room again. 

He gingerly moved his other hand to the back of his head and flinched when his fingers came away bloody.

“I’ll admit,” Oswald said. “I wasn’t supposed to do that. Martin will be very angry at me for this, but alas. C’est la vie! I can’t help it now. You’re just so irresistible.”

Oswald was suddenly on his knees right in front of where Ed was slouching against the wall. He grabbed his face to hold it still and then they were kissing and Ed was so  _ confused. _

What the heck was happening?

Ed felt powerless to resist the kiss, letting Oswald slide closer. He let go of the switchblade to grab onto Oswald’s hair.

“I’m confused,” Ed said, finally gathering the will to push Oswald away.

“I know,” Oswald replied, sounding giddy. “Just like how I imagined you would be!”

When Oswald leaned in again, he did not aim for Ed’s mouth. Instead, his mouth was on Ed’s neck, kissing softly.

As if Ed hadn’t been thoroughly humiliated the last time Oswald bit him! But it did feel nice…

“I really think I should go to a hospital,” Ed said carefully, hand hovering over Oswald’s hair. “You pushed me really hard. I’m bleeding quite a lot.”

Oswald didn’t reply, just bit down hard.

“Ow!” Ed shouted. That was much harder than last time. “Mr. Cobblepot, please--”

Suddenly, Ed was aware of what situation he’d fumbled into. This was not an abnormally strong human pushing and shoving and biting him for the fun of it. 

Oswald lifted his teeth out of Ed’s flesh, dripping blood. “You taste… so good… How do you taste so good?”

Oswald grabbed Ed’s wrist and held it down with amazing strength. For all his wriggling and fighting, Ed couldn’t free himself.

“Mr. Cobblepot!” Ed yelled. “Let go of me!”

Oswald ignored him. He was back to sucking at Ed’s throat and Ed could feel the dribble of blood down his skin.

Ed was being held tight, one of Oswald’s hands on his wrist, the other on his neck to keep him in place. Ed took his free hand and grabbed his switchblade. He had to move fast because this could easily go wrong for him.

He stabbed him in the back with all the force he could muster and when Oswald screamed and recoiled, Ed threw him off of him and stood shakily to his feet.

“Oh, dear! Oh, dear!” He jumped over Oswald’s keeled over body and made for the door, throwing it open and sprinting down the hall. He held his hand against the blood spurting from his neck. He had medicines and herbs in his apartment that would heal the wound in no time but the trouble was making sure he got there in time.

He collapsed into the elevator and rapidly pushed the button for his floor.

“Mr. Nygma!” screamed Oswald from the doorway of his apartment. “I haven’t paid you for last week! Get back here!”

Ed looked up for only a split second as the elevator doors started closing to see his blood dripping from Oswald’s teeth, all over his very fine dress shirt. He looked terrifying.

The doors shut and the elevator started moving and Ed could feel tears dribbling down his face. He struggled to pull his phone out of his pocket, quickly dialing Lee and hoping there was enough service in the elevator to get through.

The doors opened on Ed’s floor and he ran as fast as he could to his apartment.

Lee picked up just as he shut the door behind him and deadbolted it. But what was a deadbolt to a vampire?

Ed wasted no time running to his pantry.

“Ed? What’s going on?”

“My neighbor is the vampire!” Ed yelled into the receiver.

“Ed, we talked about this. You need to relax. Not everybody’s out to get you. And I get that your neighbor rejected you--”

“He just bit me and tried to kill me!” Ed screamed.

“What?!”

“I barely got away but he’s chasing me! He’ll be in my apartment in no time!”

Ed pressed a premade healing paste onto his neck, feeling grateful and proud that he’d had the foresight to prepare these medicines ahead of time.

“Ed, listen, you have to get out of there!”

“How come I didn’t think of that?!” Ed responded, beyond fed up. “I can’t go anywhere!”

Ed’s spine froze when he felt a tap on his arm.

He turned around, expecting certain death. But Oswald wasn’t the one behind him.

“Martin?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> constantly updated serbian translations:  
> zube (zoo-beh): teeth  
> Bештица: witch  
> Вампир: vampire  
> Ловац: hunter  
> Свећеница: priestess
> 
> god this chapter wasnt supposed to end like that but this fic is writing itself i dont control it anymore


	6. mozak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An eventful evening has consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> completely rewrote this chapter to add some flavor... hope it appeals <3

**_Bештица_ **

“Ed?!” Lee’s voice asked from the receiver, just as Ed dropped it and recoiled from Martin. 

“Get away from me!” 

Martin held out his hands in a reassuring manner before signing, “I’m not going to hurt you. I’m here to protect you.”

Ed stared at him for a moment, skeptical. “You can’t protect me! You are a child--” Oh…  _ the  _ child. Just as he’d suspected. He shoved the phone back to his face to growl into the receiver, “Lee, I was right about the kid too! You  _ promised _ it wasn’t him but it was!” 

“Ed, what--”

There was a loud and heavy knocking at the front door then. “Mr. Nygma?” Oswald’s voice called. “Please let me in! I’d like to  _ ravish _ you again.”

Ed’s face lit on fire. He turned back to his pantry to grab a jar of juniper leaves. He ran to throw some in front of his front door and then scrambled to his bedroom. Martin followed close behind and Ed allowed it, slamming the door behind the boy and locking it.

Echo and Query were immediately by Ed’s ankles, rubbing their heads against him.

_ Need any help, boss? _

_ What’s going on? _

“Get me the  _ Alphabet _ !” he commanded, hanging up on Lee and throwing the phone onto the bed, and they immediately went to obey.

They dragged the book across the floor towards him as he sprinkled the rest of the juniper sprigs by his door and window. 

He grabbed it and started flipping through the pages, desperate for anything he could use.

Juniper was a strong deterrent, but vampires weren’t incapable of getting past it.

“There has to be something here--”

Martin cleared his throat but Ed ignored him. This was a time sensitive situation.

“Aha!” Ed exclaimed as he finally came across a passage of potential use.

_ On Vampires _ , it read.

Martin yanked at Ed’s sleeve.

“Martin, I am sorry, but I simply cannot talk right now because your father is  _ trying to eat me!” _

_ Once a vampire has a taste of witch, their bloodlust will become obsessive and insatiable, not to mention entirely irrational,  _ the Alphabet stated.  _ The magical properties in a witch’s blood often have healing and mood alteration effects, and on an undead body these effects can feel like living again--pure ecstasy. They will do anything to have more, resulting in them being the most dangerous, though rarest, threat to a witch’s existence. _

“MR. NYGMA!”

Ed flinched as he heard his front door get kicked open. So the juniper did not do much, then. 

Martin yanked again at Ed’s sleeve. 

_ “What?!” _

“I promise you he won’t hurt you if I’m here,” Martin signed, face earnest. “I can talk some sense into him.”

“I can’t count on that!” Ed snapped, turning back to the book.

_ Vampires are repulsed by several herbs, specifically hemp and sage. _

Ed groaned. His herbs were all in his pantry. There had to be something else.

_ An upright broom can act as a deterrent. A protective circle of Hawthorn branches works better for serious issues-- _

“Not helpful!” Ed tossed the book aside. Were witches truly so powerless against vampires? Ed had a broom in the room but--

But Ed knew a better use for a broom. He stalked to the corner of the room where the broom was leaning against the wall. He broke it against his knee. 

“Let’s see how much he likes a stake in the heart,” Ed whispered to himself as he stood by the door.

“No!” Martin signed. “Don’t hurt him! He won’t hurt you, I promise!”

“News flash!” Ed shouted. “He already has!”

And then the bedroom door was kicked in and Oswald was standing in the doorway, dripping blood from his mouth and hands. He still had Ed’s switchblade buried in his back.

“Mr. Nygma,” he said with a smile. “I’ve missed you. You ran off so  _ suddenly _ .”

Ed held his makeshift stake up. “Don’t get any closer,” he warned. “I will use this.”

“You’re going to  _ stake _ me, Mr. Nygma? Even after all we’ve been through together?” Oswald took a step forward, crushing the juniper sprigs under his fancy shoe.

In that moment, Martin shoved him. Oswald did not fumble but still seemed surprised by Martin’s presence, his eyes clearing for the first time since he’d tasted Ed’s blood. “Martin? What are you doing here?”

“I’ve been here for days,” Martin answered. 

“You have?” Ed asked, bewildered. 

Oswald’s eyes fogged up again and he turned to glare at Ed. “I will drain you of every drop! I knew you had something to do with this!”

“If you hurt him, I’ll never come back,” Martin signed, grabbing his father’s arm. “He is my friend and I don’t want you to hurt him.”

Echo and Query were at Ed’s ankles, ready to pounce if Oswald made one more move towards Ed.

“Martin, you don’t understand,” Oswald said, tearing his eyes away from Ed. “I’ve never had anyone like him--if you tried--”

“He is my friend.”

Ed felt a pang of guilt. Martin was here, standing in defiance against his own father to defend a man who had planned on devouring his heart for a spell. Ed would not have considered them friends before this moment.

Oswald took a step back, never breaking eye contact with Martin.

All three of them jumped when the sound of a gun cocking came from the front door.

Oswald glanced at Ed, licked his blood-stained lips, and vanished into thin air, with nothing but a moth where he had once stood. Ed blinked in surprise and looked all around himself just to realize that he was entirely on his own now: Oswald and Martin were both gone.

“Ed?” Jim’s voice called from the hallway. “Are you here?”

“Yes,” Ed answered, in a daze. They had disappeared in the blink of an eye. Not even the most powerful witch could perform a teleportation spell so quickly.

Jim rushed into the bedroom. “Oh, Ed, Jesus.” He was staring down Ed’s throat and the blood that had seeped into his shirt. “Are you okay?”

Ed shook his head, touching his throat gently. “I hit my head,” he said simply. “Very hard.”

Jim tucked his gun away. “Lee called me, told me to get to your apartment immediately. Your front door was open. What happened?”

Ed glanced down at his familiars, who were nudging at him. 

_ The pantry, boss _ .

_ You need more medicine _ .

“Get it for me, please,” he mumbled. His cats immediately took off towards the kitchen.

Jim furrowed his eyebrows. “Get what?”

Ed snapped out of his daze. “I think I need to rest, Detective Gordon--”

“What happened here, Ed? What did I walk in on? You seem like you’re in shock. I think I should take you down to the station to take a statement.”

Ed shook his head. “Not necessary, I assure you.” He cleared his throat. “I’ve been a bit paranoid recently,” Ed explained carefully. “Ask Lee, she’ll tell you. I panicked and freaked out and called her, but as you can see I’m fine.”

“Your neck is bleeding,” Jim said. “You’re not fine.” He sighed and he gestured to the couch. “You should sit down, let me see your neck.”

Ed did not want to comply but he did, sitting on the couch Oswald had fucked him on just a few nights ago. He’d really let the freak put his teeth on him, had even enjoyed it! He was such an idiot.

“What’s this green shit on your wound?”

Ed rubbed the paste off of his neck despite the pain. “Just something to stop the bleeding.”

“When did you put that on?”

“Before you got here.” Echo and Query were dragging a jar each with their mouths across the floor to him, but he shook his head subtly. They both stopped and sat up straight next to their jars, waiting patiently before Ed allowed them to finish their duties.

“What happened?” Jim asked again, eyeing Ed’s throat. “You look like something  _ bit  _ you.”

Ed stayed silent. 

“What did this to you? Did someone break in?” Jim had swiped a towel from Ed’s bathroom and sat down next to Ed on the couch to dab at his neck.

Ed nodded. Might as well run with that story since the truth simply would not do. It was not Jim’s business. “Yes. Someone did break in while I was in the bedroom. They attacked me and hit me on the head and before I knew it they were gone.”

“Someone? What did they look like?”

“They had on a mask,” Ed lied, trying to think up more details for this fake burglary. “I still don’t know what they stole from me.”

“And this person bit you? With a mask on?”

“I didn’t say anything about biting, Detective. I’m not sure what they did to me. I think they had a knife.”

“Someone cut you on your neck like this?” 

Ed ignored Jim’s skepticism. “I need to call Lee,” he said. “She can help me.”

Jim sighed and put the towel, now soaked through with blood, down on the coffee table. “Alright, I’ll give her a call. I really think you should come down to the precinct when you’re feeling better so we can find the freak that did this to you.”

“Thank you, Detective,” Ed said as Jim got up to leave his apartment. “Please tell her to come quick.”

Jim nodded slowly. “Sure thing, Ed.” He turned again and left through the door, gingerly closing it. “You might wanna get this door fixed.”

Ed looked back over to his familiars as soon as the door clicked closed. “Bring those over.”

They quickly obeyed, dragging the jars to his feet. 

He took the lid off one of the jars and placed one of the tiny yellow flowers inside into his mouth to suck on. He could make tea later. For now, this would do.

“Thank you,” he said to his cats.

Now he would just wait for Lee to show up before Oswald decided to finish what he started.

* * *

**_Ловац_ **

Jim closed the door behind him and walked slowly down the hall. He froze when he spotted droplets of blood on the carpet all the way down the hall to the elevator. 

Didn’t Ed say that the attack started in his bedroom?

None of this fit together. 

First of all, how did Ed and Lee even know each other? Lee had never even suggested that she was on friendly terms with Nygma and now she was calling Jim to tell him he was in danger?

The bite was yet another red flag. And that was a bite alright. A vampire bite. Jim had been in this business long enough to know what a vampire bite looked like.

Either Ed didn’t think Jim would believe him, or he didn’t want Jim to be involved.

Was he protecting the vampire? Himself?  _ Jim? _

Jim followed the trail of blood to the elevator. There was a small red stain on the floor inside. Jim got in and eyed the buttons. Did Ed come home after the attack, hoping for safety in the building? Or perhaps the attack happened on the roof?

Jim hesitated before pushing the button for the fifth floor--the top floor.

He walked down the hall on the fifth floor, looking all over for signs of blood. The rooftop, accessible through a staircase, was also blood free, with no outstanding stains to suggest a struggle or vampire attack.

Did Ed know his attacker? Was it maybe a neighbor?

Jim went back to the elevator and went floor by floor until he got out on the third floor and saw a blood stain right in front of him on the carpet. Ed probably dripped there while waiting for the elevator. 

Jim followed the drops of blood down the hall again until they seemed to stop near the end of the hall.

“Hello?” a voice asked from behind him.

Jim jumped and turned to see a stern-looking woman with an updo looking at him with disgust. 

“Good evening, ma’am,” Jim said. 

“What are you doing?” she asked. “You’ve been to almost every floor. What exactly are you searching for?”

“I’m with the GCPD, ma’am,” he explained, pulling out his badge for her to see. “Someone was attacked in this building tonight.”

“And you’re investigating this private property with what jurisdiction?”

Jim narrowed his eyes. “What?”

“This is my building,” she said. “I own and manage it. Do you have a warrant for your investigation? It’s late and my tenants are trying to sleep, a difficult feat when an officer is traipsing around every floor looking for nothing in particular.”

“Do you not see the blood stains all over this carpet?” Jim asked , gesturing angrily at the floor. “This is the blood of one of your tenants!”

“Such a shame that you can’t investigate that further without a warrant,” the woman said, leaving no room for argument. “Bring me a warrant and I will allow you to continue your pointless search.”

_ Pointless? _

“Who lives here?” Jim asked, pointing at the last door before the blood trail ended. 

“Warrant.”

Jim rolled his eyes and pushed past her. “I’ll be back,” he promised.

The woman escorted him outside and slammed the building doors closed once he was safely off the premises.

Jim got into his car and attempted to mentally regroup. So Ed Nygma was attacked by a neighbor, a vampire. He recalled suddenly Harvey pointing out bitemarks on Ed’s neck before, ones supposedly procured during sex. 

“Hmm,” Jim leaned his forehead against the steering wheel. 

So Ed was attacked by a neighbor vampire that he was sleeping with? Was that why he was keeping this attack under wraps? Was he just trying to protect his boyfriend?

Jim sighed. The only thing he could do now was hope that Ed came forward with some information.

* * *

**_Вампир_ **

When Oswald turned back to human form in his apartment, he was shocked when he was thrown against the wall immediately afterward.

He looked up to see Martin standing in the middle of the room. No, he didn’t look happy.

“Martin,” he said, holding out his hands complacently. “I know you’re angry but I don’t really know what happened to me. All it took was one drop of his blood and I could not control myself anymore.”

Martin shook his head insistently. “There shouldn’t have been even one drop! You promised you wouldn’t hurt him!”

Oswald had promised that. 

He’d shoved Ed, out of senseless rage, and once he’d seen the blood, he’d dismissed his promise to Martin altogether. 

“I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Now he knows! Now he probably hates us!”

Oswald got to his feet slowly. “Martin, this is all my fault. We’ll start over again, move somewhere new and--”

“No,” Martin was glowering at him. “You will move. You will start over. I’m staying here.”

“Martin, you are ten years old--”

“You lie to me and break your promises. I hate you!”

Oswald ignored the sharp pain in what would have been his heart if his worked at all. “You don’t mean that.”

Martin shook his head, disappointed, before he shapeshifted and flew out the window. 

“Martin, come back here!” Oswald yelled, to no avail.

* * *

Oswald did not linger in his apartment. He took to the Sirens club.

Despite the blaring music and off putting crowdedness, he stayed, sampling a variety of human men who slid into his booth for a chat.

A few hours in and he was sucking angrily at some human in his lap when Babs’ voice asked, “Long night?”

Oswald pulled away from the human, causing the man to whimper. “You could say that.” He turned to the human in his lap. “Get off of me.”

Babs sat elegantly at his booth, crossing her legs, as the man walked away with a pout. “You have some blood on your chin,” she said helpfully, gesturing to her own chin.

Oswald wiped furiously at his chin. “What is it with your selection tonight? It’s all cheap shit.”

Barbara’s eyes widened. “Excuse me?”

“Every single human I’ve tasted here tastes like garbage.”

“I doubt that. Why so fussy all of a sudden?”

Oswald leaned back in the booth. “I tried my horrid neighbor tonight.”

“The tutor?” she asked, intrigued. “Tell me more.”

“The best blood I’ve ever tasted.”

“And here I thought you were going to wait for Martin’s school year to end. It’s only just October. He must have really gotten on your nerves.”

“He did! I couldn’t help myself! And then I really couldn’t help myself.”

“What do you mean?”

“Once I got a taste, I stopped thinking at all. I just… needed more… He stabbed me in the back and got away and I followed him and--”

“Yikes, please don’t tell me anymore than that. You getting horny for your tutor is not my business.”

“It wasn’t sexual, Babs.”

“Sounds sexual to me. You couldn’t control yourself? Is that a joke?”

“I wasn’t even hungry. It was like his blood was a drug or something. I’ve never tasted anything like it. I can’t stop  _ thinking  _ about him.”

“You’re serious?” Babs asked. At Oswald’s answering nod, she sighed. “Your neighbor’s not a human, Oswald.”

“What?”

“I’ve heard of this happening before,” she explained. “Some years ago, Tabby had a situation just like that. Drinking some moron just to realize that they taste like an orgasm.”

Oswald blushed. “I don’t know if I’d say  _ orgasm _ \--”

“Your tutor’s a witch, Ozzie.”

Oswald laughed until he saw Barbara’s sober face. “Oh, you’re serious? Witches don’t exist, Babs.”

“Oh, yes, they do! And they’re absolute hell to deal with if you don’t kill them first.”

“Ed is definitely not a witch. He’s not anything.”

“Tastes better than anything you’ve ever had ever? Check. You lose all control at just one taste? Check. You’re obsessed with getting some more witch blood now?  _ Check _ .”

“I’m not obsessed.”

Babs shook her head. “Not my business if you are. Good for you, though. Draining a witch means you’ll feel alive again for a pretty long time. I can’t imagine how nice that feels.”

“Alive?”

“You know, like you have a heartbeat again.”

“I do not feel like that,” Oswald said and Babs raised an eyebrow. “I mean, I  _ did _ , when I had his blood in my mouth, but I don’t feel like that anymore.”

“Even after draining him?”

Oswald shook his head. “He’s not dead, Babs. Martin was there and some cop showed up and I had to get out of there.”

“He’s still alive?” Babs asked, bewildered. “That is  _ not  _ good.”

“I know. Now I have to move, and Martin--”

“That is  _ not  _ what I’m talking about,” Babs snapped. “You’re a fucking idiot. Of all the people to let go, a witch is the absolute worst choice!”

“Why?”

“First off, he’s a magical being, so he’ll probably try to kill you, especially since you bit him and all that. There’s also the whole Martin drama this probably started but I seriously don’t wanna even get into that with you right now. The real kicker, though? You definitely do not even wanna know what you’ve gotten yourself into.”

“What? What is it?”

Babs leaned over in the booth. “What did you say his name was again?”

“Ed Nygma.”

Babs smirked. “Maybe I should have a taste of Eddie? I’ve always wanted to try a witch. And I’m not an idiot like you. I’ll lick the plate clean.”

Oswald moved forward until he was in Barbara’s face. “He’s mine. If you touch him, I’ll  _ gut  _ you.”

Babs giggled. “So it’s true?” She pushed Oswald back with a light shove. 

“What’s true?”

“Well, they say the worst part about witch blood is that it’s a double-sided knife. On the one hand, one drop and the vampire goes crazy and will most likely drink the poor little witch down. So bad for the witch. On the other hand, if they don’t, that vampire is… well, they get a little  _ smitten _ . So bad for the vamp.”

“Absolutely not,” Oswald bit out. “I am not  _ smitten _ .”

“So he does  _ not _ belong to you? I can have a taste?”

“No, Barbara, you can’t have a taste!”

“But you’re not smitten?”

“He can be mine without me being smitten,” Oswald said. “I called dibs, Babs. That’s all.”

“Well, good you’re not smitten,” Babs said. “Witches usually come in covens. He’s probably got some little witch lover you don’t know about. But that doesn’t bother you, right--”

Oswald stood up, shoving the table aside in a rush as he did so. “If he does, I’ll kill them!”

Barbara grinned wickedly, ignoring the many looks they were receiving. “You’re gone, honey. You should’ve drained that tasty witch the first time. Now you’re nothing more than a slave.”

“I am not a slave!” he argued. “I will show you. I’ll finish him off now, and you’ll see.”

“No, you won’t. You couldn’t when you had the chance and now you literally can’t. Don’t wanna hurt the witch, now do you?”

“I will,” Oswald sneered. “You’ll see.”

Barbara smiled sweetly and insincerely. “I’m rooting for you, honey.”

“I have more important things to worry about than Edward Nygma right now,” Oswald said. “Like my son, for instance.”

Barbara rolled her eyes and got to her feet. The onlookers around them seemed to have lost interest in their argument and gone back to enjoying the club. “I do hope you find him, but I’m not worried. If anything, maybe making up with your witch might convince Martin that you’ve changed your ways?”

_ Your witch _ . Oswald ignored the way his stomach swooped at that. “Bad plan,” he said. “Because I’m going to kill him tomorrow night.”

Babs grinned. “Alrighty then. Let me know how it goes.”

Oswald hesitated, stuck between sitting back down and heading out into the streets. “Can I…?”

“Yes, Ozzie, you can sleep here. You don’t have to ask. It’s getting early anyway, so you might wanna call in now.”

Oswald bought a coffin and retired in the Sirens basement. It was not nearly as comfortable as the coffin he had back at home, but it would do. 

But it was not discomfort in his sleeping conditions that caused him to toss and turn for an hour after he turned in; it was the inability to stop thinking of his missing son or the man he’d almost killed earlier that night.

* * *

**_Свећеница_ **

“I just didn’t know that you two knew each other, that’s all.”

Lee exhaled tightly. Ideally, the fact that Ed was so close to her would remain a secret for as long as possible. She did not like being open about her relationship to her coven. Kristen was an exception, but she was also struggling on her own and needed consistent support. 

Being open about her coven could put them in danger. That’s why Lee only revealed her friendship with Ed when he was in a life-threatening situation. 

“You know him, Jim. He doesn’t have many people close to him. We really don’t know each other very much but when you don’t have any friends, acquaintances mean a lot more.” Best to underplay the closeness, she decided.

Jim nodded in understanding. They were sitting on Lee’s couch, watching a movie that Jim boldly claimed would win an Oscar. “I believe you,” he said. “It’s… It’s just that his story didn’t really make much sense.”

“He was in shock,” Lee countered. “I’d be surprised if he  _ was _ making sense.”

Jim sighed. He’d been sighing all night. “You’re right. Maybe I’m just overwhelmed with work. With the case getting as crazy as it is and then this--maybe I’m just taking too much on.”

Lee nodded. “Don’t stretch yourself too thin,” she said sweetly. She hated lying to Jim, but with not only a hunter but a vampire out on Gotham’s streets, she couldn’t afford to be honest and put him in danger.

Later that night, while Jim was fast asleep, Lee pulled herself away from his embrace and stepped outside to call Ed. 

She had expected him to be frantic about the situation, to want company after a traumatizing event that wasn’t exactly over. Instead, he seemed calm and put together. 

“He can’t touch me during the day,” he’d said calmly. “I’m not concerned.”

Lee wasn’t as reassured. That’s why she was calling.

“Hmph?” he grunted in greeting when he picked up. 

“Ed? Did I wake you?”

“Yes,” he replied bitterly.

“I was just calling to check in on you. I want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine, Lee. I already told you.”

“Yeah, but I don’t know if I believe you.”

“The tansy did wonders. My neck is much better.”

“I know you’re okay physically, but you were almost killed by a man you’re romantically interested in--”

“Stop,” he snapped. He sounded less groggy now. She had perhaps offended him into alertness. “I am not interested in him in any way. I gave him a chance at your behest and decided it was a waste of my time. I am not hurt or rejected or traumatized. Stop bringing it up.”

All of that was inaccurate. Lee was a three hundred year old witch, and a high priestess at that. If she really wanted, she could cook up a truth potion and have Ed tell her honestly what was bothering him. But that wouldn’t help. If he was really going to address his feelings, he’d need to acknowledge them on his own. She couldn’t force it. 

But he was really tempting her.

“Alright, I’m sorry,” Lee acquiesced. “It’s been a long night. Just let me know how you feel tomorrow.”

“Will do,” Ed said before promptly hanging up.

If Lee was any other high priestess, Ed would have been severely punished for the insubordination, but as it was Ed was lucky Lee was so lenient.

“He’s so difficult,” Kristen said from beside her. Lee hadn’t even noticed that she’d come out.

“You should go back inside,” Lee said. “It’s cold.”

“He’s so closed off,” Kristen mused, ignoring the warning. “It’s why it could never work out between us. He never says what he means. I hate that I almost feel sorry for his vampire.”

“He tried to kill him,” Lee reminded her. “Ed barely made it out of that alive.”

“I know,” she said softly. “I don’t mean that Ed deserved it. Just that I think he could do with being more honest. When someone matters, it’s all you can do to let them know. They might not be here tomorrow, after all.” 

Lee looked at Kristen. Her cheeks and nose were red from the cold. She was staring into the distance from where they were standing on the street. 

“Isabella will come back,” Lee said. “I know it hurts that she left like that but…”

“No,” Kristen said sharply. “She left and that’s fine. I should’ve  _ expected  _ it from her. You know how she was. She thought she was too big for this city, too good for the coven. I just thought maybe she’d stay with me… for me…”

“You couldn’t have known. Nobody knew.”

“She’s my sister.”

“You had your own life to live.”

When Isabella had disappeared a few months ago, she hadn’t left so much as a note. She vanished into thin air, her bed perfectly made and all of her clothes missing from the closet. 

“I just wish she’d said goodbye,” Kristen’s voice broke and Lee couldn’t stop herself from pulling her into a hug.

“I know. Shh, I know.”

She held Kristen as she cried, sadly relieved that her friend was finally letting out the sorrow she’d been holding in for so long.

She looked up to see Jim looking down at her from the apartment window. She smiled at him and he gave her a tentative smile in return. 

Lee waited for Kristen to pull away first. “We’re going to have more frequent meetings of our Eight,” she said when Kristen was wiping her face. “I think it’d be good to be surrounded by your friends.”

Kristen nodded. “I’d like that.”

“I’ll send out the word, then,” Lee said, offering her hand for Kristen to take. With hands joined, they walked back inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> constantly updated serbian translations:  
> mozak (moh-zahk): brain  
> Bештица: witch  
> Вампир: vampire  
> Ловац: hunter  
> Свећеница: priestess
> 
> i know this didn't end as spicily as last chapter but next chapter will be spicy i promise
> 
> also! i made a spotify playlist for this fic... its not as funny as i'd like but what can i do.. https://open.spotify.com/playlist/33gp0pAjLJi0xQYvtma5uj?si=JlXbd7UgR7GRN3mu8uXLXA


	7. jezik

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oswald has a point to make and Jim has a scare.

**_Bештица_ **

Ed came into work for an early shift the day after he was attacked, preferring to focus on the exsanguination case than on what happened between him and Oswald. 

It was strange working on a case when he already knew who the culprit was, but as he peered over the evidence in the archive room, Ed was starting to feel more and more foolish for not seeing the truth earlier. 

He avoided Jim like the plague, even going so far as to hide behind a pillar when Jim headed for the bathroom. He was not willing to put up with more questions about Ed’s allegedly mundane attack. The truth was far more insidious and messy, and Ed had no intention of inciting Lee’s wrath by introducing Jim to it. In any case, Jim wouldn’t be able to help anyway.

Ed checked his mail when he came home. Amongst the coupons and bills, there was one fancy envelope stamped closed with wax.

The letter was written on yellowed parchment, because Lee liked to be melodramatic. Ed understood that, with vampires and a hunter stalking the streets of Gotham, more meetings of the Eight were to be expected, but it was quickly becoming a biweekly phenomenon. 

_ To Whom It May Concern _ ,

_ These times we are in are becoming increasingly more dangerous. More frequent meetings have become a necessity. _

_ Our Eight shall gather tonight at 9 o’clock in the Gotham Hotel’s Red Room, to discuss recent events and what they mean for our group. This event is compulsory, so every member’s attendance is required.  _

_ Thank you, _

_ Lee Thompkins _

Why couldn’t she ever just  _ call  _ them to tell them about a meeting? Why did it have to come in the form of a letter?

Lee was a progressive witch, maybe too progressive. She refrained from violent spellwork unless it was entirely necessary, had built a coven based on communication instead of punishment, and even promoted the rights of humans when it came to the spellwork of her Eight. In spite of this, she liked the old-fashioned charm of letters and wax seals, of calligraphy and fancy paper.

Ed really didn’t want to attend this meeting. He was undoubtedly going to be the focus of the discussion, and he did not want to hear what Jeremiah or Victor would snidely say about his humiliating adventure.

He’d debate going when the time came. For now, he just set the letter on the counter as a reminder for later.

Ed went about vampire-proofing his apartment: setting juniper in the hinges of his doors, propping up a few brooms in the corners of every room, lighting incense and burning sage. None of it was a sure-fire way to avoid Oswald breaking in and killing him, but every bit helped.

At sundown, seven o’clock, only a few minutes after dark had settled over the city, he heard a knock on the door.

Ed knew who it was and grabbed the makeshift stake from the previous night as he went to answer.

Oswald Cobblepot was indeed standing in the hallway, biting his lip innocently.

“Good luck coming in here,” Ed said, raising his stake in challenge. 

Oswald scoffed and pushed Ed’s stake-holding hand away. “I’m two hundred years old,” he said, shoving Ed aside and striding into the apartment as though he paid for the rent. “You can season your apartment all you want but spices aren’t going to keep me out.”

Ed gripped his stake harder and closed the door after Oswald. “I’d like for you to leave. Last time you were here, you were trying to kill me.”

“About that,” Oswald said, looking around Ed’s living room as if he’d never seen it before. “I came to apologize.”

“Baloney,” Ed spat. “You’re here to finish what you started.” He stayed with his back to the door, nervous that approaching Oswald would result in a bloody demise.

“‘Baloney’?” Oswald mocked, turning around to smirk at Ed. “What are you,  _ five years old _ ?”

“Twenty seven.”

Oswald nodded and hummed. “Yes, yes, yes.” He cast one long, meaningful look towards the couch, then met Ed’s gaze. “Well, in any case, I really am here to apologize. I hurt you, and I can’t imagine how terrified you must have been.”

“Yes, well, um… You did surprise me.”

“Funny, though,” Oswald mused, taking slow and deliberate steps towards Ed. “You didn’t seem shocked that I was a vampire.”

Ed stayed still, refusing to shift. “I ran away from you. How shocked was I supposed to be?”

“You even fashioned a stake on the spot. Impressive.”

“I just needed a weapon.”

“You have a fully stocked kitchen,” Oswald pointed out, suddenly turning to walk through the kitchen. “Plenty of heavy pans, silverware,  _ knives _ . But you made a stake instead.”

“Pans can’t kill a vampire,” Ed said, staring straight ahead instead of looking at Oswald and giving into whatever game he was playing. “A stake can.”

The sound of Oswald giggling emanated from the kitchen. “What a good witch you are, reading your books and doing all your homework on me.”

Ed sighed in defeat. He was caught. “Witch?” he asked, desperate enough to try playing dumb.

“Yes, dear. It’s why you taste so fucking good.”

Ed’s breath hitched at that. “How did you find out?”

“That’s not important,” Oswald said distantly. After a moment of agonizing silence, Oswald was back in the main hallway. “What is important, however, is finding Martin.”

“Martin?”

“It is decidedly  _ your  _ fault that he ran away the first time. Now it’s even more of your fault that he still hasn’t come home!”

“How is it my fault?” Ed snapped. “You’re the one who tried to kill  _ me _ !”

“And if you had just  _ let  _ me, he wouldn’t be so worried about whether or not you hate him. As if the opinion of some rat matters so much.” Oswald grabbed Ed’s wrist and twisted it so that Ed released his stake with a yelp. “Here’s a tip for next time: make your stakes out of hawthorn. This piece of shit wouldn’t kill me even if you stabbed me fifty times with it.”

Ed gulped. “How can I help to find Martin?” Maybe if they were working to find Martin, Oswald would forget to kill him.

Oswald smiled wickedly. “Cry out for help,” he answered simply, before gripping both of Ed’s wrists and leaning forward to bite his neck. 

Ed shut his eyes in anticipation of the horrible sharp pain that would come at Oswald’s bite, but after a few moments of waiting, no such bite came. Ed opened his eyes. Oswald was hesitating, breathing heavily onto Ed’s skin.

“I… can’t.”

Ed blinked in surprise when Oswald quickly retreated. “What--”

“It’s not your time yet,” Oswald bit out. “But it’s coming, Mr. Nygma. Believe me. If it wasn’t for Martin, you’d be dead by now. I can’t break my promise to him again. But I will kill you when the time comes. I’ll rip out your throat and lick up every single drop you have to offer. I promise you that.”

Ed stared at Oswald in shock, mouth uselessly ajar as Oswald shoved him aside yet again and left out the door.

* * *

**_Вампир_ **

Oswald shut his apartment door behind himself and screamed. “Why is this happening to me?” he cried, flinging a priceless vase he’d bought at an auction forty years ago across the room. It shattered as it hit the wall. 

He had come to Ed’s apartment with every intention to split the man open and lap up the coursing drug he called his blood. Instead, he’d found himself so nervous and reluctant that he could not bring himself to just  _ give in. _ Ed had been standing there, trembling and powerless, with a stake that did not work, and Oswald had just walked away.

Regardless, Barbara was not right. Oswald would prove it to her. He probably was just still feeling residual guilt from betraying Martin, that was all. Once he and Martin reconciled, he’d be able to tear into his skin with no issues at all.

Someone cleared his throat from the window. Oswald spun around to see Martin perched on the windowsill. 

“Martin, get in here!” Oswald spat. “I am tired of this game! You are ten years old and--vampire or not--you cannot survive on your own!”

Martin shook his head. “I’m not coming home yet. Not until you own up to what you did. I can’t come back until you change.”

Oswald shrugged. “I don’t know what that means.”

“That’s part of the problem. But you will. You’ll learn. You just need time.”

“No, don’t you dare transform and leave me here alone again. You are my son. I can’t live normally without you.”

Martin smiled, almost like a pitiful offer. Oswald felt ashamed that his own son had resorted to pitying him. “I’ll come back, Dad. I’m staying with Ivy until you’re ready.”

With  _ Ivy _ ? Oswald would be having some firm words with her. “Until  _ I’m  _ ready?” Oswald had half a mind to grab Martin and lock all the doors and windows so he couldn’t run off again. 

“In the meantime, why don’t you make up with Mr. Nygma?”

Oswald’s upper lip twitched in disgust. “I’d rather die.”

Martin rolled his eyes. “Why do you hate him so much? He’s my friend.”

“He is not your friend!” Oswald spat. “He’s a witch! That’s why I went crazy and tried to kill him last night! I wouldn’t even be surprised if he set the whole thing up!”

“Witches aren’t real,” Martin signed, looking unmoved.

“Yes, I thought so too, but Barbara told me--”

Martin’s eyes darkened at her name. “Good bye, Dad.”

“No!” Oswald ran forward to hold Martin’s hand. “Please don’t go. I can’t go through any more nights worrying about where you are.”

“I’m safe, Dad. I promise. Just remember what I said. You need to stop lying and breaking promises. Ivy agrees with me.”

Ivy Pepper was the only vampire Oswald had ever turned. 1965, she had saved his life so he saved hers. She lived with him for two decades before telling him flatly that, “As much as I love you, Ozzie, I just can’t put up with you anymore.” 

They still talked on occasion, but Ivy was living her own life. 

Oswald trusted her. If Martin was staying with her, then he must be safe. “I know I lied,” he mumbled. “I’m sorry. I should have been honest with you from the start.” He let go of Martin’s hand. “You promise you’ll come back?”

Martin nodded. “I don’t break my promises like you do.”

Oswald glanced away in embarrassment. “Tell Ivy that if you get hurt in any way, I’ll tear her head off her body.”

Martin grinned. “When I’ve punished you enough, I’ll come back.”

With that, he turned into his tiny mesoleuca albicillata form, lacy wings and all.

Oswald watched him fly away until he was no longer in sight.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the envelope he’d snatched from Ed Nygma’s kitchen counter.

_ The Gotham Hotel Red Room. 9 o’clock _ . 

He had to get ready. He had a tight schedule to work with.

* * *

**_Ловац_ **

Jim had been nervously navigating Kristen Kringle for as long as he’d known her. For all intents and purposes, she seemed like a perfectly normal, sweet girl. But Jim knew better. He knew that she was a vile witch who had somehow come back from the dead. 

She was dangerous. 

Jim had tried to monopolize Lee in all his free time when he wasn’t figuring out a way to catch Kristen in the act or finally putting a finger on what the hell was up with Nygma. 

Speaking of Nygma, Jim had compiled a file of all the weird and out of place things his coworker had said, that he’d just brushed aside as evidence of him being a bit off-kilter.

There was something severely wrong with Ed Nygma. There was something severely wrong with Kristen Kringle.

Lee was friends with them both and that terrified Jim.

He would not let her get hurt. 

Their relationship may have been relatively new, but he was in  _ love  _ with her. He couldn’t stand to think that if he slipped up or failed to protect her, she could end up dead at the hands of her horrible friends.

So he made it a point to spend as much time with her so that she wouldn’t be left alone with them.

“Jim,” Lee said after their dinner that night. “I don’t think you can afford to keep taking me out.”

“I’m willing to risk my finances for you,” Jim replied. “Wanna come back to mine?”

“Oh, Jim, I’d love to, but Kristen and I are going out tonight. Girls night.”

Jim’s stomach sank. He felt his blood go cold. “Oh. That’s a shame.” This was probably the night: Kristen would carve out Lee’s heart and let her walk around like a loveless zombie until she inevitably couldn’t live with the loss and keeled over. “Are you sure? My place is spick and span tonight.”

Lee chuckled and hailed down a taxi. “Maybe tomorrow,” she suggested. She gave Jim a parting kiss. “Don’t look so sad. It’s just a raincheck.”

Jim nodded, trying to hide the fact that his fingers were trembling. If he couldn’t convince her to stay without coming across as too aggressive and scaring her off entirely, then he would just have to go to Plan B. “I’ll see you later,” he promised. She grinned and got into the taxi and once she was out of sight, Jim ran to hail his own.

* * *

Jim broke into Lee’s apartment, ignoring the overwhelming guilt of the act. If this was any other circumstance, he’d try to do it more cautiously, but Lee was in danger. She could be getting her heart cut out in that moment. It was Lee, for crying out loud. Jim couldn’t-- _ wouldn’t-- _ let anything happen to her.

He switched the lights on and tossed the apartment, looking for anything that might give him a hint as to where they might be.

He finally found something in the kitchen: a blue Post-It note.

_ Red Room at 9!!! _

Jim crumpled it up and thrust it into his pocket before taking off. 

He could seek Lee’s forgiveness for messing up her apartment after he saved her life.

* * *

**_Свећеница_ **

For the past couple meetings, Lee had gone to the hotel with Kristen. This time, she was coming straight to the hotel after a date. It was risky, since she had her meeting notes in her purse the entire dinner, but Lee had been willing to chance it.

She walked into the Red Room a bit late, at 9:03. 

“Sorry, sorry, everyone. Traffic was a bit of a mess.” She took her gloves off and settled into her seat at the head of the table. 

“I don’t know why you’re still coming up with excuses,” Ecco teased. “We all know you were with your boyfriend.”

The Eight giggled at Lee’s expense, but she just laughed with them. “You’re right.”

“Aren’t you worried in the slightest that he’ll find out?” Jeremiah asked coldly. “It seems like this fling is getting quite serious.”

Lee’s smile faded. 

He was right, after all. If Lee was a selfless person, a  _ good _ person, she’d leave Jim. She’d tell him that it was over. Really, if she had any decency at all, she’d never have entertained a first date to begin with, let alone a fiftieth. But she wasn’t a good person. She was selfish. She’d seen the light inside of Jim, the awkward, half-hidden bubble of sunshine surrounded by the darkness of his profession, the optimism and idealism that was shrouded by the cold and unforgiving nature of Gotham, and she hadn’t been able to look away. She simply couldn’t release him.

“I’m being careful,” she said. “Anyway, we’re all gathered here because one of our Eight was attacked by a vampire last night.”

Everyone turned to stare at Ed, who crossed his arms and pouted like a preteen. 

“He’s physically fine,” Lee said, gesturing to him. “But I want all of us to be on guard. Gotham is more dangerous than ever before.”

Ecco leaned over the table so much that she was halfway on top of it. “Eddie, that’s so scary!” She reached for his hand and squeezed it. “Did it hurt?”

Ed nodded solemnly. 

“Ecco, I’m sure Ed appreciates your sympathy, but we need to have a frank discussion about what this means for us.” 

Ecco reluctantly released Ed’s hand and sat back down. 

“I know what it means,” Jeremiah declared. “I propose we kick Ed out of the coven entirely. He’s putting us in danger by fraternizing with vampires. If he wasn’t around, we wouldn’t have to worry about getting drained.”

Lee held up a hand to stop his tirade. “We don’t ever abandon our own, Jeremiah. You know this.” She placed her trusty steno pad flat against the table. “I want all of us to stock up on sage and juniper--”

“And make a hawthorn stake,” Ed cut in. “Oswald informed me just a while ago that any other kind would be powerless against a vampire.”

Lee’s mouth dropped open in shock. “He came by again?! Why didn’t you say anything? God  _ damn it _ , Ed, why don’t you ever say anything?”

“He just came to threaten me.”

“It doesn’t matter  _ why _ he came, he could’ve  _ hurt  _ you!”

“Well, he  _ didn’t _ \--”

The door flung open and suddenly every witch in the room was on their feet, facing Jim Gordon who was shakily pointing his gun at Kristen.

“Hands up!” Jim yelled. “GCPD, put your hands up!”

Kristen squeaked in surprise but her hands obediently went up. Every other member of the Eight followed suit.

“Don’t hurt her,” Lee said gently. “Jim, what are you doing?”

Jim shook his head. “I can’t explain this to you, Lee. I know you’ll think I’m crazy, so I’m gonna need you to trust me on this: she is dangerous. All of these people are!”

His gun went from pointing at Kristen to pointing at Ed. “I knew you were one of them! I fucking knew it!”

Nobody said anything; they all simply stood still with their hands up, shivering at the threat of the gun.

“Jim, what’s going on?” Lee asked again. “What happened?”

“You’re in danger!” he exclaimed frantically. “You’re not gonna believe me but… they’re  _ witches _ , Lee.” 

Lee closed her eyes in disappointment. So this had finally come to a head, then. After all of her hoping and praying and knotting pink yarn, she’d never get what she wanted.

“You’ve gotta believe me--they were gonna hurt you--”

“Put that gun down right now, officer,” said a completely new voice from behind Jim.

Everyone looked at the doorway to see a short man dressed all in black. He was unarmed and Lee was starting to get a bad feeling.

“Mr. Cobblepot?!” asked Ed, bewildered, as he gaped at the newcomer.

“You know this guy?” Ecco asked, pointing at him.

“If you touch a single hair on Edward Nygma’s head, I will rip out your entrails and throw them off of the top of this building,” Oswald Cobblepot said, ignoring the ruckus he’d caused.

Ecco squealed. “This is your vampire!” She jumped up and down in excitement. The gun pointed quickly at her, with Jim glancing nervously at nearly everyone in the room. “He came to rescue you!”

“I did not!” Oswald snapped. “But he is  _ mine _ , and I’ll be damned if I let some cop shoot him!”

Lee sighed and stepped forward towards Jim. “Jim, put the gun down.”

“I’m not gonna shoot you, Lee,” Jim said. “I just can’t let you get hurt. You don’t understand, these people were probably going to sacrifice you for a spell! They’re  _ witches _ \--”

“Jim, I know. I’m their high priestess.”

Jim blanched, the grip on his gun loosening.

Suddenly, with a grunt, he fell to the floor, knocked out. Oswald was standing right behind him, having just hit him with his fist. “I’ll be taking Edward now, if you all don’t mind.”

Lee had bent down to take care of Jim’s collapsed body, but at Oswald’s threat, she stood back up in a rush. “You won’t be touching him at all. If you try anything, I will kill you here and now.”

“And how do you intend to do that?” Oswald asked with a smile. “I don’t see any stakes here. And none of you can overpower me.”

Ed gripped Lee’s wrist. “You can’t let him take me, Lee. He’ll kill me.”

Oswald shook his head, faux sadness on his features. “Oh, Edward, you wound me.” He grabbed the closest witch to him--Ecco--and held her tight. “If you don’t give me  _ my witch _ , I’ll kill every other person in this room.”

Lee grabbed Ed’s hand with her free one. “Promise me you won’t hurt him.”

“Lee!” Ed gasped, affronted. “You can’t honestly be considering--”

“Hush,” Oswald commanded. “Lee, is it? I don’t think you understand how this works. I  _ will _ hurt Edward. That’s why I want him to begin with. Hand him over, and I won’t slaughter your entire coven. Ed will die one way or another. Do I really have to kill the rest of them too?”

Lee looked the vampire in the eyes for a moment before she groaned and turned to Ed. She was stuck between a rock and a hard place. “You’ll be fine, Ed, I promise.”

“He just said he was going to kill me!”

“There was something I was going to talk about at this meeting, something I found out, but I didn’t have time. Just trust me. You’ll be okay.” If what Lee had read earlier today was true, then Oswald wasn’t a threat to Ed at all.

Ed stared at her, horrified. “You’re giving me up?”

“I’m sorry,” Lee said, guilty tears bubbling in her eyes, pushing him forward to Oswald.

Oswald smiled triumphantly, as he ran a hand over Ed’s cheek. “My dearest, most delicious.” He then grabbed Ed by the shoulders and shoved him out the door. “Thank you for your cooperation, Miss Lee.” He then stalked out of the room, shutting the door closed.

Lee deflated and fell to her knees beside Jim.

“What the fuck just happened?” Ecco asked, rubbing at her throat.

Jeremiah responded, not sounding half as proud as Lee would have expected: “I think we just managed to get Ed kicked out of the coven.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> constantly updated serbian translations:  
> jezik (yeh-zeek): tongue  
> Bештица: witch  
> Вампир: vampire  
> Ловац: hunter  
> Свећеница: priestess
> 
> oof idk how i feel about this but the show must go on


	8. oči

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ed realizes the effect he has on Oswald.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was frustrating to write and i had a lot of anxiety about the fic in general so that's why it took so long to update,,, sorry about that

**_Ловац_ **

Jim woke up with a throbbing in his head. He groaned and tried to force his eyes open despite the harsh fluorescent lights.

“Careful there,” came Lee’s voice, followed by her sweetly concerned face just a few seconds later.

Jim was lying on the carpet in the conference room. Looking around, he could see that most of the people who had been in the room before had since left. Now there was just Jim and Lee, as well as Kristen standing awkwardly in a corner with her arms crossed defensively.

Jim had only had a few conversations with her prior to this night, and none of them had been very deep, especially since Jim couldn’t trust her as far as he could throw her.

“Cobblepot hit your head kind of hard, but I don’t think there will be any damage,” Lee was saying, helping Jim sit up.

“You’re a witch,” Jim growled, wanting to recoil from her helping hand but finding the urge difficult to carry out. “You  _ lied _ to me.”

Lee laughed sardonically. “And how was I supposed to be honest about that? ‘Hi, Jim, I know this is our second date, but I think I should tell you that I’m the high priestess for the Gotham Eight coven of witches. Hope that doesn’t turn you off.’”

Jim didn’t know what to say to that so he changed the subject. “Where did everyone go?”

“I sent them home,” she replied. “Well, most of them. Kristen needs a ride home and before we can start with any of that, there’s also the trouble with Edward.”

“Ed?”

He remembered suddenly that the vampire who had suddenly ambushed the room had voiced a desire to apprehend Jim’s coworker. 

“Yes, well, the man threatened to kill my entire coven unless I turned Ed over. I didn’t have much of a choice.”

Jim finally gathered the strength to shove Lee’s hand off his arm. “You gave him up? Jesus Christ, Lee. Some high priestess you are!”

“Relax,” Lee said. “He can’t hurt him, even if he wanted to. Witch blood is special.”

Jim narrowed his eyes in confusion. “It is?”

Lee nodded. “I’ve read about it. A witch’s blood has powerful side effects. In the moment it can make vampires bloodthirsty and ravenous, and they’ll stop at nothing to drain every drop. But once that initial moment passes, their bloodlust turns into a sick kind of loyalty. Ed is safe.”

Kristen suddenly chimed in, “Um, isn’t it possible… I mean… Is it  _ witch’s _ blood or is it  _ born witch’s _ blood?”

Lee’s face turned pale. “Oh no.”

Kristen shrugged. “I mean, I don’t know, but--”

“There’s a possibility that Ed’s blood has weaker effects, or maybe even entirely different ones--”

“We need to help him!”

Lee jumped to her feet and Kristen quickly approached, but Jim stood too.

“You really think I can just let you walk out of here?”

Lee turned to him, confused. “What?”

“You’re a witch!” Jim spat. “You’re a danger to society! I can’t let my feelings get in the way of people’s safety!”

Kristen shook her head adamantly. “No, Jim, you don’t understand! Lee is a good witch. She’s trying to get our coven to convert to bloodless rituals and peaceful ceremonies--”

“I don’t want to hear that from  _ you _ ,” Jim sneered. “People died at your hands. I don’t know  _ how  _ you lived the first time, but I will not be making that mistake again!”

Lee gasped and Kristen’s complexion turned ashy. “What did you say?”

“Isabella…” Lee muttered. “You… you’re the hunter…”

Jim stood in front of the door in a defensive stance. “I can’t let you leave this room, Lee. I will not be putting innocent people in danger.”

“He killed Isabella,” Kristen whimpered.

“Innocent people?!” Lee shouted, marking the first time she had ever raised her voice at Jim. “But Ed deserves to be ripped apart by a vampire? Does it count as protecting people if you only protect people you deem as worthy?”

“And what about you?” Jim rebuffed. “Eating hearts? How do you live with yourself?”

Lee laughed, a cold and hollow sound. “So that’s it? You think you’re just gonna kill me here? How long have you been a hunter, Jim?”

Jim swallowed, brushing aside the fact that he knew he wouldn’t be able to hurt Lee. “Since I was a teenager.”

“And have you ever faced off against a high priestess?” 

Jim’s stomach suddenly sank. “Wha--”

“I’m guessing you have not,” she continued, picking up her purse and pulling out a clump of red yarn. She pulled the strand apart, paying half-hearted attention to her conversation with Jim. “It’s a mistake for any human to make, even a hunter. I’m three hundred years old, Jim.” She started to knot the yarn and mutter under her breath. 

Jim stepped forward to stop her from whatever she was doing, but he stopped in his tracks when the air in his lungs dissipated.

“Very sorry, Jim, but I’m not gonna let you hurt any more members of my coven,” Lee spat in disgust. “Isabella was under the wing of my protection for decades! I failed her, but I will not fail Kristen and I will not fail Ed.”

Jim gasped for breath, but his lungs felt like they were shrinking in on themselves. He collapsed to the carpeted floor of the Red Room for the second time that night. He looked up at Lee through bleary eyes, wheezing and choking as she eyed him and stepped over him. The last thing he saw was Lee grabbing Kristen by the arm and dragging her out of the room.

Jim struggled once more to take in breath and then the world went black.

* * *

**_Bештица_ **

Oswald shoved Ed into an alley, several blocks from the hotel. 

“This isn’t fair,” Ed protested, steadying his stance. “You have the upper hand. If I had all my herbs with me, or even some yarn, I could fight back.”

“With what?” Oswald asked. “Yarn? Some  _ juniper _ ? We’re just not well-matched here, dearest.”

“Why did we stop here?”

Oswald shrugged, mysteriously keeping his distance from Ed. “This is just a stop. I needed a drink.”

Ed gulped. “If you touch me, I’ll--”

“You’ll what? Knit me a sweater?” Oswald laughed cruelly. “Your coven turned you over to me. Nobody’s going to save you. It’s just me and you and your delicious blood. That’s all that’s left of this story now.”

The alley was a dead end, not even a fire escape in sight. There was no hope of getting away. Still, Ed took several desperate steps backward. “Please, Oswald--”

“Don’t worry,” Oswald said. “I won’t kill you. I need to prove a point to somebody.”

“I thought you said that you wouldn’t--because Martin--”

“--Martin is punishing me!” Oswald screamed. “He doesn’t  _ really  _ care about what happens with you! I’m his father and you’re just a nobody! He’ll get over it and come back and it’ll be fine! He said so himself! In the  _ meantime _ , you are so  _ exquisite _ , I simply must have you again.” He quickly approached Ed and when Ed made to run, he was unceremoniously shoved up against the brick wall of one of the buildings. “No, sweetheart, don’t run,” Oswald purred, running a hand through Ed’s hair. “It won’t help.”

Oswald’s mouth was on Ed’s neck again, but after he released a frustrated grunt it became clear he wasn’t biting, just kissing.

Ed stopped fighting Oswald’s grip. “What are you doing?” Oswald did not stop. Ed’s neck was getting wet. “Are you… Are you trying to leave a hickey?”

Oswald let out an angry whine and reluctantly pulled off of Ed’s neck. “This is not my fault!” He pushed Ed harder against the wall. “You smell like heaven and hell in one hot, pulsating body and I can’t even have any!”

“Because of Martin?” Ed guessed.

“No!” Oswald shouted. “Because of  _ you! _ ” He grabbed Ed’s cheeks and pulled Ed’s head lower so he could kiss him.

Ed shoved Oswald away and marvelled at how Oswald fumbled backwards. “You’re in love with me!” he exclaimed triumphantly. “You can’t hurt me because you have a thing for me!”

Oswald’s lip twitched with rage. “How dare you! I’m  _ ancient _ ! I’m powerful! You are nothing! You really think somebody like me would drop so low to think of  _ you  _ as--”

“Then kill me,” Ed challenged. “I’ll even make it easy for you.” He exposed his neck, pressing one side of his face to his shoulder. “Come on, Oswald. I know you want to.”

Oswald glared at Ed but did not budge. “Well, now that you want it, I don’t want to.”

“Is that so?” Ed asked. He was now the one approaching Oswald, the threatening one. “Not even a drop? You’re not tempted?” Ed bit at his lip until his teeth drew blood. He leaned down to press his lips to Oswald’s. Oswald gasped and gripped at Ed’s hips to pull him closer. He sucked desperately at Ed’s bleeding lip. Ed enjoyed this a lot more than the last time Oswald drank his blood.

Oswald’s grip on his hips turned painful and then he pushed him away. “That was so kind of you,” he said. “We’ll make sure to do that again later at the club, okay?”

“Club?”

“I’m visiting a friend for dinner. It’s a potluck.”

Oswald grabbed Ed’s wrist and tugged him out of the alley.

* * *

**_Свећеница_ **

“Ed?!” Lee called. She and Kristen were at Ed’s apartment, but their friend was not home. 

“Well, the vampire’s his neighbor,” Kristen suggested. “Maybe they’re at his place?”

Lee’s eyes were bubbling with tears. It was bad enough that her boyfriend turned out to be a hunter and a witch killer. She’d left him choking on nothing in the conference room. The effects wore off as soon as she left the room, but it had still pierced her heart to do it. But now, to add fuel to the fire, Ed had been taken by a vampire and nobody knew what that vampire was capable of. 

Ed could be dead already.

“Hey,” Kristen said softly, a hand on Lee’s shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay. We’ll find him, I promise.”

“I’m supposed to protect my coven,” Lee sobbed. “I didn’t… I let Isabella down. I didn’t even know--”

“Shh,” Kristen pulled Lee in for a hug, for once reversing their roles. “Nobody knew--we didn’t even know about a hunter. You couldn’t have done anything.”

“She’s dead because of me--”

“No!” Kristen snapped, pulling out of the embrace. “I will not let you disparage yourself! You are the best high priestess this world has ever seen! You put yourself on the line for this coven everyday. You always put us first! You can’t blame yourself the one time things didn’t work out.”

Lee couldn’t say anything, could only look at the fierce earnestness in Kristen’s eyes. 

“Now, instead of breaking down about Ed now, remember that we are  _ witches _ . We can find him.”

“Excuse me,” said a stern voice from the open doorway. 

Both Kristen and Lee turned quickly to see a blonde woman with her hair in a bun glaring at them.

“What are you doing in this apartment?” she asked curtly.

Kristen stepped forward quickly. “We’re looking for the tenant that lives here, Mr. Nygma. We think he might be in trouble.”

The woman raised one unimpressed eyebrow. “And why do you think that?”

“Well, it’s a long story. Do you by any chance know of a tenant with black hair? Short? Wears all black? Kinda creepy looking?”

“I don’t talk about my tenants,” the woman sneered. “And you’re not the first to ask about him.”

“And that didn’t set off any red flags to you?”

Lee left the conversation to approach the pantry in Ed’s kitchen. Ed’s familiars were curled up next to each other in the corner of the room. Witches couldn’t communicate with familiars that weren’t their own, but Lee could tell that they were concerned.

Why Ed hadn’t summoned them to save him already, she had no idea. Maybe he’d been incapacitated after he’d been taken.

Lee opened the cupboard while Kristen continued to plead with the woman outside. She found starthistle and trava od namere (a rare plant that was expensive to come by, but Lee would pay Ed back later) and set to boil a kettle of water and mash the herbs with a mortar and pestle.

“Those two,” the woman said with distaste. “Have been causing a ruckus for as long as they’ve been living in the same building. They have been leaving hostile notes to each other in the laundry room, frightening the children who enter, and making my other tenants uncomfortable. Not only that, but they had a very loud sexual encounter, for which I’ve received many noise complaints. Immediately following that encounter was an episode of screaming and bleeding all over my hallways. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were simply continuing that crude behavior.”

“That wasn’t a sexual encounter,” Kristen argued. “Ed was attacked that night!”

The water boiled and Lee poured it into a mug, set the herbs in a tea net, and let the essence dissolve.

“I simply do not care either way.”

Lee took the mug and went back to where Kristen and the mystery woman were standing. “Ma’am,” Lee greeted with a friendly smile, her earlier tears dried off her skin. “Take this tea. An apology for our intrusion. What’s your name?”

The woman took the tea. “Kathryn,” she responded before taking a sip from the mug.

“My name is Lee. This is Kristen.” 

The woman did not blink, only continued to drink her tea.

“Now, Kathryn, lead us to Oswald Cobblepot’s apartment,” Lee commanded.

Kathryn whipped around, still sipping at the mug and led the way down the hall to the elevator.

“Come on, Kristen,” Lee said and they both followed her.

“Wow! How did you do that?”

“I have plenty of tricks up my sleeve,” Lee replied. 

They got off on the third floor and Kathryn led them down the hall to apartment 27. 

“Do you have the key to this apartment?” Lee asked sweetly. “Kathryn, you should unlock this door for us.”

Kathryn nodded and obediently reached into her blazer pocket to pull out a masterkey. 

“Oh, God,” Kristen muttered when they entered.

Ed truly had not been exaggerating about the antiques and expensive furniture. Every square foot of the apartment was beautifully decorated with lavish furniture and vases and paintings. How come Oswald had gotten away with living like this for so long without earning any suspicion?

They checked every room, flitting in and out of doorways and calling for their friend and for his kidnapper, to no avail. 

Lee went into what was presumably Oswald’s bedroom and swiped a necktie from his enormous walk-in closet.

“We have what we need here,” Lee informed both Kristen and Kathryn, who was sipping at her tea and gazing into the distance like a zombie. “Kathryn, why don’t you lock up here and make sure that the laundry facilities are in order?”

Kathryn nodded and got right on it, while Lee and Kristen went back down to Ed’s apartment with Oswald’s brocade necktie. 

“What are you gonna do with that?” Kristen asked.

“Just a little divination,” Lee said. 

Once they were in Ed’s kitchen once more, Lee sent Kristen to gather the necessary herbs while Lee got a tie of Ed’s and boiled a huge pot of water on the stove.

They added the herbs one by one, and then Lee cut off a square of fabric from both ties and dropped them delicately into the pot.

“Oh, Sun, as you shine in the heavens and know all; Moon, as you sit high in the sky and see all; help me to see, to know, and to tell everything that is destined to be.” They repeated this incantation three times, as ritual demanded, and then Lee took their clasped hands and submerged them in the boiling water. 

There was a crowded room, with all sorts of people shouting and dancing, a nightclub, probably. There was a beautiful woman with blonde curls sitting at the bar. “Welcome to the Siren’s,” she announced to Lee--though, not to Lee, since she was not there. “Why’d you bring this beanpole?”

And then their hands lifted out of the water and they both gasped for air. 

“They’re at a club!” Kristen exclaimed. “Something called the Siren’s!”

“I have a bad feeling about this,” Lee said. “We need to be very careful. Stock up on some herbs from this pantry and take some of Ed’s yarn and then we’ll head out.”

“We should stop and get some hawthorn so we can make a stake, like Ed advised. There’s some hawthorn trees in Gotham Park.”

Lee nodded and they rushed to get ready.

* * *

**_Вампир_ **

Ed did not fight Oswald’s grip on his wrist. He even seemed more cooperative than earlier, but Oswald knew that was because he was stupidly convinced that he would not be hurt tonight.

Well, he’d be proven very wrong. He’d see how misled he was when they met Barbara Kean and Oswald demonstrated to all of them how little Ed meant to him.

The Siren’s was bustling this time of night. The humans who frequented the club liked to dress as scantily clad as possible, to attract the gaze of a vampire. Oswald really did not see what the appeal was to getting a vampire bite, but he wasn’t about to start complaining about humans willingly donating their blood to him.

Ed clung closer to him when they were inside the club, walking past people. Oswald noticed quite a few vampires running their eyes over Ed and to make it quite clear that Oswald had only brought this drink for himself, he put a hand on his waist. 

“Oswald,” Babs called from where she was seated at the bar. “Welcome to the Siren’s!” She then looked Ed up and down with a judgmental eye. “Why’d you bring this beanpole?”

“Is there somewhere we can speak in private? I need to show you something.”

Babs never broke eye contact with Ed, who was leaning even more heavily into Oswald’s side.

“This is your witch!” she finally exclaimed, a triumphant smile overtaking half of her face. “You were actually stupid enough to bring your new boyfriend here! To a vampire club!”

“He’s mine, Babs,” Oswald reminded her. “If anyone wants to lay a finger on him, they’ll have to go through me.”

“You’re not that powerful, Ozzie,” Babs said with a smirk. “And you brought Mr. Witch here--”

“Ed,” the witch cut in.

“Ed,” Babs corrected. “My apologies.” She turned back to Oswald. “Witch blood creates a frenzy and you brought  _ Ed _ here to rub in my face that, what? You can kill him if you put your mind to it? Have you gone actually insane?”

“He’s the reason Martin ran away.” Oswald shook his head. “Is there somewhere more private we can talk? Like your office?”

Babs rolled her eyes but led the way to a backroom. It smelled like floral perfume in there, and was furnished with cool toned chairs and an obsidian desk. Babs closed the door behind her and invited her guests to take a seat.

Oswald sat in one of the chairs and when Ed made to sit in the one right next to it, Oswald tugged on his waist until Ed was situated on his lap. “There’s no point in you being all the way over there when you’re just gonna have to come closer later anyway.” 

Babs took a seat in the chair behind the desk, smiling mockingly. “So,” she said. “Go on, then. Show me how easy it is, how unaffected you are.”

“Unaffected?” Ed repeated. “What do you mea--”

Oswald shut him up by putting his mouth on his throat again. But instead of freezing up, tensing, or struggling like Ed usually did, this time he simply laughed.

“Oh, Oswald,” he chuckled, pushing Oswald’s head away. “Not this again.”

Barbara giggled. “You can’t even fool the witch, you absolute moron!” She leaned in over the desk. “So, Eddie, I think you remember the first time this loser sunk his stupid horny fangs into you and created this whole mess, right?” Ed nodded and Oswald glowered at her. “Well, because he didn’t finish you off like he was supposed to, now he’s incapable of hurting you. Witch blood aftereffects are very powerful, or so I’ve heard.”

Ed’s mouth spread into a wide, proud grin and he even seemed unperturbed by Babs booping his nose. “I was right, then!”

“No, you weren’t! You’re both wrong!”

Babs laughed coldly. “Oh, enough of this.” She got up and approached Ed, running a perfectly manicured and very sharp fingernail down his cheekbone. “If you won’t bite, then I will.” She pressed down with her nail and Oswald slapped her hand away.

“Don’t touch him.” 

Ed pushed away from both of them, standing and backing himself into a corner. “This has been really fun,” he said nervously. Both Oswald and Babs eyed him, unimpressed. “But I’ve gotta run. I’ve got a spell to do before Halloween and the time’s getting kinda tight here.”

“Oh, no more spells for you,” Babs said with a pout. She sauntered closer and pinned Ed to the wall. “What a sad existence you must have lived, but no worries. I’ll put you out of your misery.”

Oswald stood up from his chair and rushed over to the wall. He pulled her off and threw her across the room. She toppled into one of the chairs, laughing all the while. “Oh, Ozzie, you have no idea how  _ fun  _ your denial is!” She stood up straight as Oswald grabbed Ed’s hand. “You’re weak right now,” she informed him wistfully. “I know you’ll hate me for this in the moment but tomorrow night you will thank me.”

“What?”

Babs threw open her office door. “Oswald invited a witch to the Siren’s!” she called into the crowded club. “Come get your sip before he’s all used up!”

Oswald and Ed both startled in surprise. “No, Babs, what are you doing?!”

Babs shrugged. “I’m getting rid of a very nasty impediment for you.”

Vampires started popping their heads into the office, curiously entering.

“Witch blood can give you a heartbeat again,” Babs announced to the new crowd in her office. “And it tastes better than any other blood you’ve ever had.”

Oswald stood in front of his witch. “Attention, you absolute imbeciles!” he shouted at the now crowded room. “This witch belongs to me. He’s  _ mine. _ You will not be tasting even a drop of him! I won’t allow it! But if you’re feeling particularly suicidal, then go ahead and  _ try.” _

Apparently plenty of the vampires present were feeling suicidal.

Ed clung to Oswald from behind and Oswald despised the fact that it was so obvious he held no threat to the witch anymore. 

“Please, Oswald,” Ed hissed into his ear. “You can’t let them hurt me! This is  _ your _ fault!”

“Fine!” Oswald snapped in response. 

And just as he was about to start shoving, one vampire took a step too close, grabbing one of Ed’s wrists and starting to pull. 

Oswald saw red.

* * *

**_Свећеница_ **

Lee and Kristen had spent half an hour driving around Gotham, first to get the hawthorn branches and then to drive to where the Siren’s club was--a very difficult spot to find when it was apparently underground. While Lee drove, Kristen sharpened a few impressive stakes.

When they finally arrived at the Siren’s, it was eerily quiet. There was nobody on the street outside the club, and when they entered through a rusty door in an alley, there was no bouncer or anybody in the stairway to the club.

They stepped forward into the actual club itself and were horrified to see every inch of the place was soaked through with blood. There were decapitated bodies and limbs thrown about everywhere. 

“Oh my goodness,” Kristen muttered. “What happened here? This isn’t what we saw in the vision!”

Lee had no answers, was just as unsettled by the scene as her friend was. 

They cautiously stepped over strewn bodies and body parts. Lee slipped and nearly fell when she stepped into a particularly bloody part of the floor.

“Have your stake ready,” Lee advised and they both gripped their stakes tighter as they continued their way through the club. 

“You’re a bit late,” a woman’s voice proclaimed from across the club. 

The same woman from the vision was seated at the bar again, her pretty face speckled with blood. 

“Who are you?” Kristen demanded.

“Barbara Kean,” the woman said. “And you two smell just like Eddie, so I assume you’re both witches as well?”

Lee nodded. “Where is Ed?”

Barbara rolled her eyes. “I was doing Oswald a favor, you know,” she said bitterly. “Once that witch is gone, the effects of the blood will wear off. But Oswald couldn’t let that happen. He killed every vampire  _ and  _ human in my club and then took off.”

Lee’s jaw dropped. “Every one?” In all of her years as a witch, she had never heard of a vampire killing so many people at one time.

“Yes!” Barbara snapped. “He ripped their heads off and went absolutely  _ batshit crazy _ and he would’ve killed me too if I hadn’t holed up in the cleaning supplies closet!” She shook her head wistfully. “Tabby’s gonna be so pissed at me when she finds out.”

“Did he take Ed with him?” Lee asked. “Is Ed okay? Did he get hurt?”

“Ed Nygma,” Barbara sneered. “Is just fine. He’s perfectly safe and as long as that  _ moron _ Ozzie is around, he always will be.”

Lee turned to Kristen. “I must have underestimated the effects of Ed’s blood.”

“One vampire did all of this? For one witch?”

“We need to find them,” Lee said firmly. “Ed could still be in danger--”

“Yeah, I don’t think you should be too worried about him,” Barbara spoke again, barking out an unamused laugh. 

“Why? Where did they go?”

“Well, to put it nicely, I  _ think _ they went somewhere they could be alone.”

“Oh, ew!” Kristen yelped after a moment of not understanding. “And to think I was about to suggest we do another vision thing!”

Babs shrugged. “Okay, I don’t know where they are, but the last person you should be worried about is that witch. He’s the real menace here.”

Lee and Kristen turned to look at each other, both still processing everything.

This night had truly been a garbage fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> constantly updated serbian translations:  
> oči (oh-tchee): eyes  
> Bештица: witch  
> Вампир: vampire  
> Ловац: hunter  
> Свећеница: priestess
> 
> blergh


	9. srce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ed and Oswald go on a trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was annoying to write bc my doc was really slow and god thats so frustrating..,,,,, it took a long time to update bc of that.... hope u enjoy anyway but forgive any typos or blatant errors bc typing this was the most annoying thing id ever done and i will not fix it. anyway turns out i rly like harvey in this fic for no reason

**_Bештица_ **

Ed woke up to complete darkness. Despite the black void around him--so thick he wasn’t entirely sure he’d actually opened his eyes--he was warm and comfortable. 

He was confined somewhere, laying on soft silk and pressed against what felt like a body.

And then he remembered that Oswald Cobblepot had foolishly dragged him to a vampire club where he’d almost been devoured by a mob of hungry bloodsuckers only to see Oswald snap and rip the heads and limbs off of every clubgoer.

Ed had watched in awe as the blood splattered the walls and speckled his own face. 

According to texts he’d read, vampires could only be killed in a limited number of ways. The easiest and most well-known was to expose them to sunlight. Prolonged exposure would cause their skin to set fire and they’d burn to death. If sunlight was not an option, a stake (made of hawthorn, Oswald had informed him) would do in an emergency. It was messy, but doable.

Beheading was a myth, Ed had read. And even if it wasn’t, beheading a vampire was no easy task.

Well, it seemed Ed was mistaken on both counts. Oswald was fully capable of beheading vampire after vampire after vampire without breaking a sweat and it definitely killed them.

Oswald had finally stopped when the last head was thrown to the floor and Ed approached him cautiously, nervous that Oswald might hurt him in his rage. 

But no. Oswald looked at Ed and his eyes softened for the first time that Ed had ever seen. 

“I got blood on you,” he said gently and he moved closer. Ed did not flinch, not even when Oswald moved to wipe some blood off of Ed’s cheek. “I’m sorry about that.”

Oswald himself was soaked in blood, his white button-up shirt absolutely drenched in red.

Ed didn’t care. He kissed him, heart hammering in his chest because all of these people had been killed for  _ Edward’s  _ sake.

And now Ed was in a coffin, sleeping at Oswald’s side. He had no idea what time it was, or how long he’d been sleeping, or if Oswald was awake.

Instead of asking, he reached out, his hand immediately running into Oswald’s body (perhaps his chest or his arm, though Ed couldn’t see). He fidgeted until he was able to fully place his arm around Oswald’s neck.

* * *

“Get up.”

Ed groaned and hid his face away from the blinding light above him.

“Come on, you lazy waste of space.”

A few blinks and Ed was finally able to see in front of him.

He was in a coffin lined with red silk, the lid placed delicately against the wall. Oswald was standing over him, clean as a whistle and hair perfectly styled as though he hadn’t slaughtered a club full of people a short while ago. 

“Good morning,” Ed mumbled, sitting up.

“It’s eight in the evening,” Oswald corrected. 

Ed made a face. A nocturnal sleeping schedule was not something he was used to. He slept very little, usually, averaging about four to five hours a night if he was lucky. He usually drank potions and teas to make up for energy and efficiency. 

Yet he’d apparently slept fourteen hours in a coffin with a vampire.

What did he do as a butterfly in that time? Ed couldn’t recall. He’d probably just rested on Oswald’s face. Where else could he go, trapped in a coffin?

The blinding light in the room was just the bright artificial light from the ceiling lamp. 

“No wonder I feel so gross,” Ed replied, rubbing some of the sleep from his eyes. 

“You can wash up in the bathroom, if you’d like.”

Ed nodded and got to his feet, carefully stepping out of the coffin. “You sleep in here every day?”

Oswald eyed him, unamused. “Where else am I supposed to sleep? Chained up to the roof? In a canopy bed right by the window?”

Ed nodded, embarrassed that he’d asked such a silly question, and quickly made for the bathroom. 

He washed his face but didn’t brush his teeth since he had no toothbrush. He could easily ask his familiars to fetch his toothbrush for him, but he didn’t want to have to explain how his relationship with Mr. Cobblepot had changed so quickly.

They would understand, naturally, but he’d have to admit the change to himself before he could admit it to them. 

“Do you have any food in here?” Ed asked when he emerged from the bathroom. Oswald was sitting on the couch, legs elegantly crossed. “I assume, since you and Martin are vampires, that you have no use for food?”

Oswald rolled his eyes. “I have a fully stocked kitchen. Help yourself.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m a generous host.”

“No, I mean why do you have a fully stocked kitchen?”

Oswald scoffed and got off the couch. “Fine, I’ll show you.”

Ed trailed behind him, watching as Oswald threw open cupboards and cabinets and the refrigerator doors. 

“See? Food.”

Ed hummed. There was definitely food in abundance, but most of it was ready-made meals in serving-size packaging. 

“Why do you have all of this?”

“Martin,” Oswald answered simply, slamming the fridge door shut. “He’s a hybrid vampire, so he eats normal food in addition to his blood consumption.”

“I see.”

“Now, I don’t know if you recall, but yesterday night was rather eventful,” Oswald said. “I saved your life from a group of blood thirsty vampires and as such I think you’ll find you owe me.”

Ed laughed. “You can’t be serious,” he said. “You’re the reason my life needed to be saved at all!”

“Details of minimal importance,” Oswald said, waving his hand out disinterestedly. “You’ll make it up to me. It won’t even be hard.”

Ed sighed and turned to the cupboards to find something to eat. “Fine. What did you have in mind?”

“You’ll help me convince Martin to come back home.”

“Sure.”

“You will?” Oswald’s voice sounded so suddenly excited and cheerful, Ed had turned to stare at him in surprise. He wasn’t used to Oswald speaking without hostility and derision in his tone.

“Yes.”

Oswald beamed, his mouth spreading over his entire face and causing Ed’s face to warm up. “Thank you! Although it  _ is _ your fault he left in the first place.”

Ed decided on a teriyaki noodle meal and stuck it in the microwave. “What’s the plan?”

“He’s staying with my progeny, Ivy.”

“You have a progeny?”

Oswald looked bashful at Ed’s inquiry. “Well,  _ yes, _ but it’s a much different relationship than humans could possibly understand.”

“Enlighten me.”

“When I turned her, she was already pretty much a fully-formed adult. I was less of a parent and more of a mentor, or an older brother. And she feels less like a child to me, and more like a successful student.”

Ed blinked. “So in an effort to describe an indescribable relationship that a human like me could never understand, you compared it to well-known and understandable human relationships?”

“Anyway, Martin is staying with Ivy to punish me for a bit, as he himself has confessed, so we will visit. He will see that we have reached an understanding and then he will forgive me and come back.”

“An understanding?”

Oswald gestured noncommittally between them. “Yeah, whatever that thing is that you did to me with your blood.”

“With my blood,” Ed echoed. “Right.”

Ed had consumed none of Oswald’s blood (though wasn’t that an interesting prospect, the effects of vampire blood on a witch’s potion?) and had not gone through a frenzied state of blood lust. He had simply watched Oswald murder his own parasitic brethren for his sake and had smiled with affection and kissed him with gratitude because nobody had ever done anything like that for him before.

But Oswald had only done it because of the blood. Even now, Oswald was bitter and resentful of the tie he had to Ed due to the blood he’d consumed. If he could rid himself of the connection between them, he would not hesitate. 

Ed knew this.

Somehow he still felt disappointed for some reason. Better not to examine it too long.

“Sounds like a plan,” Ed said, just to say something.

“Good,” Oswald responded. “It’ll be nice for you to finally be of use to me.”

The microwave beeped and Ed rushed to pull out his meal.

* * *

**_Ловац_ **

“C’mon, Jim, talk to me.”

Jim did not. Instead, he crossed his arms as he sat shotgun in Harvey’s car.

“What the hell happened, man? If you don’t tell me what went down in that conference room, I can’t help you.”

“You can’t help me at all, Harvey. This,” Jim exhaled heavily. “This is so much bigger than I could possibly explain.”

“Well, fucking try me!” Harvey snapped. “I’m your partner for fuck’s sake! I’m not some numbskull like Alvarez--”

“You wouldn’t believe me, even if I told you.”

“Try me!”

“Lee’s a witch!” Jim snapped. 

They both sat in silence for a few moments after that, with Jim stubbornly looking out the window and trying to ignore the irritating worry about Harvey’s lack of reaction.

“A what?” Harvey finally said.

“A witch, Harv.”

“What did she do?”

Jim breathed in deeply before exhaling. “You know that tape we saw the other day? The one with the kid and the exsanguinated victims?”

“Uh, yeah, Jim, I know the tape,” Harvey replied sardonically. “I haven’t been able to  _ stop _ thinking about that goddamn tape.”

“That kid is a vampire.”

“Yeah, no shit. He’s a freak.”

“No, I mean he’s an actual legitimate vampire,” Jim emphasized, already frustrated. He’d never had to fill somebody in like this before. “And Lee and Nygma are genuine witches and I’m a monster hunter.”

Harvey did not respond. A car cut in front of them and he slammed his horn. “Hey, use your blinker!”

“Harvey,” Jim said, eyeing his partner nervously. “Say something.”

“The guy’s a moron, Jim. Learn to drive!”

“Harvey!”

“What the hell do you want me to say?” Harvey kept driving, eyes glued to the road. “That’s a load of bullshit? Get your head examined? Are you fucking with me? I don’t know, man. If you’re being serious with me then I don’t have much to say.”

“Do you believe me?”

“I believe that you believe you.”

“Harvey.”

“Hey, I’m driving you to where you said, okay? No need to get hostile.”

Jim had stood up a few hours after Lee had suffocated him with her yarn. One of the hotel employees had been standing over him, nervously waving. 

“You can’t sleep here, sir,” the employee had said and Jim allowed the kid to escort him out of the hotel. He’d thought of going to the hospital to get his head checked out, or to the GCPD to report what happened, but he knew none of those trips were worth taking. His head was no doubt just fine and his colleagues would never take him seriously if he came in yelling about a vampire crashing a gathering of witches.

So he went to Harvey’s apartment and after a few minutes of banging on the door, Harvey finally answered.

Now they were in Harvey’s car, pulling onto the curb by Nygma’s apartment building.

“It’s pretty early, Jim,” Harvey said as he pulled the key from the ignition. “I doubt he’s up.”

“If he’s home then he’s up.”

Jim got out of the car and Harvey followed him reluctantly. 

They took the elevator to the second floor and Jim marched with determination to the apartment. 

“Once we’ve dealt with these two, then we’ll go see Lee at her place.”

“What do you mean ‘once we deal with them?’” Harvey asked. “What are we gonna do to them?”

Jim knocked on the door, which was evidently still in poor shape after it’d been kicked open (by the vampire who had knocked him out, no doubt). There was no answer, so Jim kicked it open. The door, weak as it was on its hinges, collided to the floor. 

“Jim! Holy shit!”

Jim ignored his partner and got to exploring the apartment. There were endless herbs and plants in the pantry, and now that Jim thought back on it, Lee’s kitchen had had a similar set up. Ed’s bedroom was pretty incriminating, with a book on witchcraft on his bedside table, a ceremonial knife in the drawer, and his two cats perched on the bed, snuggling up against each other.

“I always knew he was a bit of a freak,” Harvey commented as he trailed behind Jim. “But this isn’t really proof of anything, Jim.”

“He’s not here,” Jim said bitterly. “He must be with the vampire.”

“Vampire?” Harvey sighed. “You mean the kid?”

“No,” Jim waved him off. “He lives upstairs.”

“Wait, what?”

Jim ran into the hall and waited for Harvey to catch up before he pressed the elevator button for the next floor.

“Jim, what exactly do you plan on doing to these guys once you find them?” Harvey asked once the elevator started its ascent.

“We have to kill them,” Jim said tightly. “It will be bloody, but it can’t be helped. They’re dangerous, you know. Just follow the blood trail to the apartment and we’ll find them.”

The elevator doors opened and Jim wasted no time going down the hallway, only stopping when he noticed the pristine and flawless carpet beneath him. “We’re on the right floor, right?”

“Third floor, Jim,” Harvey said. “There’s no blood trail.”

“She must have cleaned it up!” Jim whipped around to address his partner. “The building manager ran into me before and she kicked me out of the place--she must have cleaned it all up!”

Harvey shook his head. “Jim…”

Jim started to walk again. “It doesn’t matter. I remember which apartment it was--”

He heard the familiar sound of a gun cocking and slowly turned around again to face Harvey, who was still shaking his head wistfully, gun pointed at him.

“I’m sorry, partner, but I can’t let you kill two innocent people. You’re sick.”

“Harvey,” Jim bit out. “They’re dangerous. They’re not innocent. They have killed people. I have to take them down or--”

“Witches and vampires aren’t real, Jim!” Harvey snapped. “They’re not real and you know it! C’mon, partner, you know I have to do this.”

“I can’t let them get away with it, Harv.”

“Turn around so I can cuff you. Don’t make me shoot you, partner.”

Jim shook his head. “You won’t shoot me.”

“Jim, please.”

Harvey looked heartbroken, but his gun was steady. He’d shoot if he had to. Jim sighed and slowly turned around, holding his wrists out behind him so that Harvey could cuff him.

“I’m sorry about this, Jim.”

“You’re going to regret this,” Jim replied.

* * *

**_Вампир_ **

“Why is this so important again?” Oswald asked in the elevator.

“I need to make myself a tea before we go. I promise we’ll go see Martin right after.”

“Do all witches drink tea like this?” 

“No, this is a precautionary measure.”

They got off on Ed’s floor and immediately they could tell that something was wrong, because Ed’s door was on the ground.

“What?” Ed rushed forward and Oswald followed quickly, nervous that yet another foe would appear and he’d have to deal with it again. Ed checked every room and turned to face Oswald. “Nobody’s here.”

“We should be fast here so that whoever broke in doesn’t come back.”

“Can I call Lee and let her know to fix my door?”

Oswald rolled his eyes. “Do what you want.”

Ed smiled gratefully and ran off, leaving Oswald in the doorway. Oswald noticed the cat he’d met before was rubbing against his ankles. He reached down to pet her, running a hand over her black fur.

After a few minutes, Ed emerged from his bedroom, eagerly rushing to the kitchen to get started on the tea. 

“I see you’ve reacquainted yourself with Echo.”

“Yes, I think she likes me.”

“She does, unfortunately. My other cat, Query, seems to have better taste.”

Oswald sneered even though Ed couldn’t see him. He was starting to pet Echo more out of spite. “I might steal this one from you.”

“She’s my familiar,” Ed said from the kitchen. “She has to serve me even if she doesn’t want to anymore.”

“Hmm.” 

In no time at all, Ed was in front of him, sipping at a mug of tea. “Four people have been in this apartment since I’ve last been here.”

“How do you know?” 

“A spell I did earlier. Lee told me she and Kristen had stopped by before to check on me and two others have been in here as well but I don’t know who that could be.”

“That hunter maybe?”

Ed blanched. “God, I hope not.”

“Are you ready to go, now, my sweet?” Oswald asked, getting to his feet, already sick of this apartment.

Ed’s face reddened and Oswald took pride in the fact that he was the reason his skin had gone pink. “Yes, we can go.”

* * *

Ivy lived in a colonial in the Gotham suburbs. Oswald had never really understood the choice of abode, but he was no longer living with her so there was no reason to complain. 

The door opened on its own as soon as Oswald and Ed set foot on the doorstep. Together, they wandered through the house until they came across the living room.

Martin was sitting cross-legged on the couch, watching a cartoon on the TV. There were plants all over the place, but because of the night all the flower buds were shut.

“Hello, Martin,” Ed greeted, and Martin whipped around quickly in surprise.

“What are you doing here?” he signed. 

“Come home, Martin,” Oswald demanded as they fully entered the living room. “See, Mr. Nygma and I have made amends. We’re friends now, so you can come back.”

“Friends?” Martin wrinkled his nose as he eyed them up and down. 

“Yes,” Oswald groaned. “Friends.”

Martin looked skeptical but before he could further probe the issue, Ivy was skipping into the room. 

“Oh, Pengy, you’ve finally got a boyfriend!” she exclaimed excitedly. “Martin told me all about you, Mr. Nygma!” She held out a hand and Ed politely took it to shake, much to Oswald’s chagrin.

“He is not my boyfriend,” Oswald growled. “I just drank his blood so now I’m reluctantly fond of him. That’s all.”

Ivy snickered mockingly. “Okay, sure.” She turned back to Ed. “You want a snack or something? Because of Martin I have some human treats if you’d like.”

Ed nodded and Ivy tugged on his hand to follow her into the kitchen.

“You’re still lying, I see,” Martin signed with a pout.

“Lying about what?”

“You smell like him and he smells like you! You kissed again, didn’t you?”

Oswald sighed. “Yes, but that’s because of him this time.”

“Tell me what happened.”

“Well, I was going to hurt him to spite Barbara, because it turns out Mr. Nygma is a witch and his blood has turned me into his slave or something, and I wanted to prove that I could kill him--”

Martin was glowering now, arms crossed. “I told you to leave him alone, Dad.”

“I know! I was angry, okay? He pissed me off. Well, it turns out I can’t hurt him and Barbara sicced her clientele on him, so I murdered them all and then he kissed me and now we’re here.”

Martin’s face had turned blank at some point. “I kind of always wanted another parent,” he signed sadly.

“Oh, Martin, please don’t.”

Martin exhaled wistfully and sat back down on the couch, eyes glued to the TV once more.

“Martin, you’re guilt-tripping me.”

“Hey, Pengy, some people asking for you at the door.” Ivy peeked into the living room. “They look kind of angry.”

Oswald was about to follow Ivy out of the living room when he heard Barbara Kean’s voice growling from the doorway.

“OSWALD!” she bellowed.

“Where’s Ed?” Oswald asked frantically.

“The kitchen,” Ivy answered.

Martin was up off of the couch and Oswald commanded him to hide as quickly as possible.

Oswald turned to Ivy to hiss, “Stay away from the kitchen. They can’t find Ed, no matter what.”

“But he’s not your boyfriend?” There was no time for Ivy’s sarcasm right now, because Babs and her wife, Tabitha Galavan, were standing in front of them.

“Ozzie!” Babs greeted, fuming. “Give us the witch or we set this house on fire and kill everybody inside!”

Tabitha smirked beside her wife. “You caused two thousand dollars worth of damage to our club and eliminated thousands more because you slaughtered plenty of our regulars. You made our club synonymous with bloodshed and vampire death so the least you could is offer up your witch.”

“You’re never going to touch him,” Oswald said. “I won’t let you.”

“Well, then, Tabby and I are going to kill every person in this house one by one until we find him!” Babs exclaimed. “And if I remember correctly, Martin is somewhere around, isn’t he?”

Oswald held his breath nervously. 

“Stop!” Ed shouted, suddenly in the living room with the rest of them, behind Oswald.

“Oh my fucking God, you’re a moron!” Oswald shrieked. “Get out of here!”

“You’re not in your right mind, Mr. Cobblepot,” Ed said. “You don’t actually care what happens to me, and it’s in your best interest that they take me.”

Oswald gestured wildly in confusion, his heart hammering in his chest--but truly hammering, he realized. His heart was beating for the first time in centuries. “Ed, what are you doing?”

Ed pushed past Oswald and exposed his neck for the two intruders. “Just take me and leave the rest of them alone.”

Oswald reached out to grab Ed and pull him back, but it was too late: Babs had already grabbed him first. 

“A witch, Tabby,” she swooned to her wife.

“Bon appetit,” Tabby agreed, and with that they both bit down on either side of Ed’s neck.

Oswald could feel himself shaking with fury while Ivy lingered uselessly in the corner of the room.

Suddenly, Ed started to giggle, and Oswald furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

Then, Babs and Tabby recoiled from Ed’s throat in unison, their mouths stained with blood--blood that rightfully belonged to Oswald. They both screamed.

“What the hell?” Babs yelled.

“I drank a juniper tea before I came here,” Ed said wickedly, grinning. Oswald’s heart was fluttering in his chest, a foreign feeling that he’d forgotten in the long time he’d been undead. “My blood is toxic. If you want to live, you’ll have to take off and find someone else to suck down.”

Babs grabbed her wife’s hand and together they tripped their way out of the door.

“Wow!” Ivy exclaimed, clapping happily. “You’ve caught yourself a smart human, Pengy!”

Oswald’s heart was beating, his blood rushing, his face on fire. “Did you know this would happen?” he asked.

Ed shrugged. “Well, the last time you dragged me someplace with vampires, we were ambushed, so I thought it best to be a step ahead.”

“I’m gonna get Martin out of hiding,” Ivy said, after an awkward moment looking between them. 

“What you said,” Oswald bit out after another long moment of silence and staring at Ed. “That I didn’t really care, that it was just the blood? I hate to admit it, but it’s nonsense.”

Ed rolled his eyes. “Just yesterday you wanted me dead.”

“You infuriate me, it’s true. You irritate me and piss me off beyond comprehension and nobody makes my blood boil like you do.” Oswald averted his eyes. “But my heart is pounding in my chest and nobody else can do that to me either.”

It wasn’t just that he felt alive again. His stomach was doing backflips and his breath was stuttering and his heart was skipping beats. Those weren’t signs of life, but something far more insidious.

“I’m fond of you and I despise you for it.”

When Oswald looked up again, Ed was beaming. 

“I feel the same way,” he confessed. “I hate you so much I can’t get enough of you.”

Oswald laughed. “We truly are ridiculous, aren’t we?”

He wasn’t sure who moved first but in no time at all, their lips were together, in the chastest kiss they’d shared so far.

This wasn’t blind lust, or angry hatred. It wasn’t even hunger or gratitude or frustration. Just a kiss for the sake of affection.

Oswald had never felt anything like it. 

When they pulled apart, Martin and Ivy were in the doorway to the living room, smiling awkwardly.

“You’re just friends, right?” Martin signed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> constantly updated serbian translations:  
> srce (ser-tseh): heart  
> Bештица: witch  
> Вампир: vampire  
> Ловац: hunter
> 
> :)  
> prolly one more chapter to wrap things up and then its curtains <3


End file.
